Subconscious Urges
by BlueMoonEmpress
Summary: CompleteTaichi's being sent to a boarding school because he kissed Yamato in front of the entire school, now he has to deal with being away from Yamato and he's very prone to the green eyed monster. Taito
1. Coming Out

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Well, this is a story I've been working on for a long while… started the first page and couldn't get past it for a long time… then suddenly WHAM, my muse kicked in and I knew how I could end it and start it really for that matter. I hope it lives up to what you all hoped it would be! If you hoped anything for it in the fist place ^^**

Notes: These are the ages that I'm having for this story…

Jyou – 18 

Taichi, Yamato, Sora, Mimi, Koushiro, Ryou, Wallace – 17

Miyako, Ken – 16

Takeru, Daisuke, Hikari – 15

By the end they're all one year older then these ages.

Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, don't own Digimon. Although I'm pretty sure I own this idea concept. There are probably others out there like it… but this one is mine and mine alone! Although I do owe a little credit to a friend that gave me the idea to get it started!

Warnings: Yaoi. This story is full of Taito/Yamachi however you want to look at it. Plus one-sided Yamaken and Taishiro. So, if you don't like that, then I would suggest that you leave now. But if you do enjoy that then… I hope you have fun reading this!

Subconscious Urges 

BlueMoonEmpress

Chapter 1

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Coming Out

The music blared as the students inside danced to the beat, that song ended and another one was about to start when the whole of the gym looked to the doors, as they all heard a huge bang. 

They all looked to who kicked open the doors, and there stood Taichi, grin plastered on his face. It seemed as if all the girls in the gym where eyeing him, smiling and whispering within their groups. But it seemed Taichi had his mind set on one person, and one person alone. 

At this point he was still standing in the doorway, but he slowly moved forward, his jacket swaying in the invisible wind. 

The entire gym watching him, he moved steadily forward. Although no one was sure who he was moving towards, they all secretly hoped it was them.

The music continued to blare, and yet no one danced, no one moved. There was no movement made in the gym as he moved ahead, all the eyes eerily following him. 

Then, he stopped. All eyes widened as Taichi stopped and took Yamato's face in his hands and pressed his lips firmly on Yamato's. 

Whispers and gasps were heard throughout the gym.

Yamato stood there stiff and wide eyed, unsure of what to do, but he slowly calmed and his shoulders slacked, then, kissed back, wrapping his arms around Taichi's neck. 

Grinning against the kiss Taichi wrapped his own arms around Yamato's waist, pulling him as close to him as he could. 

It seemed that the two of them forgot where they were, too engrossed in their own 'activities'. 

"Ahem…" 

The sound was ignored, either they didn't hear the person, or they didn't want to. 

"Ahem…!" 

The sound was louder this time, and the two boys pulled apart slowly. Taichi was still grinning while Yamato was bright red. 

"You two! Out! This instant!"

"Why?" Taichi asked, "I wasn't doing anything illegal. Just kissing my boyfriend," More gasps and whispers where heard throughout the gym. 

"Exactly! Now out!" The principal yelled again. 

"That's no reason to kick us out!" 

"It is for this school…!" the principal almost growled. 

"Homophobic bastard…" Taichi seethed.

"I want the both of you in my office tomorrow morning, without exception…" 

"But—" Yamato started. 

"Save it Yama, this guy isn't worth your breath," Taichi told him. Yamato nodded silently, as the two of them walked out of the gym. Taichi's arm wrapped protectively around Yamato's waist. 

"Disgusting…" was the last thing either of them heard as they left the gym. 

--------

"Why did you do it…?" Yamato asked quietly. 

"I thought it be the best way to come out," Taichi answered as they made another turn, heading to Taichi's apartment. 

"Tai… I can't afford to get kicked out… you know that…"

Taichi sighed, "I know… and if it comes down to that I'll take all the blame." 

Yamato's eyes widened, "I can't let you do that! It'll ruin your chances at becoming a lawyer!" 

He shrugged, "I don't much care. It's my parents that want me to become one anyway. I rather… I rather help people in another way…" 

Yamato looked at him, "Like how? Councilor or something?" 

Taichi smiled, "Maybe… who knows right?" 

Yamato smiled back, "Yeah, who knows…" 

--------

"Taichi I can't believe you did that!" Hikari yelled as she ran into the apartment. She didn't get an answer. "Tai?" she called again. 

Confused she walked into the room she shared with her brother, "Taichi?" She asked slowly, opening the door. Peering into the room she gasped audibly, covering her mouth with her hand, "Oh! God, I'm so sorry!" Closing her eyes she ran out of the bedroom. 

Fumbling greatly, Taichi straightened himself and pulled the blankets on his bed closer to his body, "Shit…" 

Yamato sat beside him, blankets hugging his upper torso as he sighed. 

Standing Taichi grabbed his pants and carelessly threw them on, "I'll be right back." And walked out of the room. 

Closing his eyes Yamato let his head hit the wall behind him. 

"'Kari?" Taichi asked hesitantly, walking into the living room where his little sister sat on the couch. Inching his way forward he said, "Sorry you had to see that… probably wasn't on your 'to do list' for today." Snapping her head to look at her brother Hikari glared through narrowed eyes. "'K-'Kari…?" 

"How could you do this Tai?" She asked sternly. 

"Do what?" he asked confused. 

"The thing at the dance! Do you have _any _idea what that has done?" 

"Um, yeah. It almost got me kicked out of school? I have to go and see the principal tomorrow morning?" Her stare hardened. "Am I missing something here?"

"As usual you miss the whole thing! Do you have _any_ idea what mom and dad are going to say to this?!" She yelled. 

Taichi winced, "I—I never thought about that…" 

Hikari shook her head, "No, no you didn't think did you. Seriously Taichi! How stupid can you get?!" 

"Hey, listen! I may not have thought it out all the way before I actually went and did it but that doesn't matter now because it's done! Over with! Nothing I can do about it now!" 

"They're going to go ballistic. I'm surprised Yamato isn't pissed off at you for doing it, knowing how his father will no doubt react." 

"H-how do you know how Yamato's father will react?" Taichi asked fearfully. 

"Um, hello? How long have we known his father? He's going to freak! Just like our parents are going to freak." 

Raking a hand through his thick bush of brown hair, Taichi sighed, "Quite lecturing me Hikari. I get the point." 

"To bad it's a couple hours to late Taichi." Standing she walked past her big brother and to the front door, "For your sake I hope they go easy on you. I'm going to stay at Miyako's tonight. I actually want to sleep." 

Sighing, Taichi trudged his way back to his room. "Yama?" 

Head lowered Yamato nodded.

Taichi walked towards him and sat down on the bed, he placed a hand on his friend's shoulder, Yamato flinched away. "Yama? What's wrong?" 

"Hikari's right… I'm dead… my dad's going to kill me… either that or send me away somewhere…" He started rocking back and forth fearfully.

Crawling towards his boyfriend cautiously Taichi slowly reached up a hand and brushed back some of his golden locks. "It's going to be okay Yama. I'll do everything within my power to keep us together." 

Lifting his head slightly Yamato blink back the unshed tears, and tried to smile up at his friend, no matter how strained it was. "Yeah, okay…" 

Sighing again Taichi leaned down and kissed Yamato's forehead. "Is it okay to say I love you?" Taichi whispered. 

Eyes widening somewhat Yamato nodded, however slightly, a small smile gracing his lips, "Yeah…" 

Not receiving exactly the response he had hoped for Taichi forced a smile upon his lips as he snacked his arms around Yamato's stomach, leaning his head on the others shoulder. "We'll get through this." 

Nodding again Yamato answered, "I know…"

--------

When Taichi arrived at the school the next morning he found the blonde already waiting in chairs outside of the office.

"Hi there beautiful," Taichi whispered as he sat down next to the blonde musician, making to grab one of his hands to kiss. 

Pulling his hand away before Taichi could kiss it, Yamato muttered a small, "Hey," before turning his gaze back down to the floor. 

Sighing Taichi slumped in his seat, until they were called into the office. 

The both of them sat down across from the cherry oak desk that was cluttered with papers, pens and a computer, which sat at the edge of the desk. 

Principal Taylor narrowed his eyes as he looked at the two young men sitting across from him. He cleared his throat, "I assume the both of you know why you're here." 

Yamato was about to say yes when Taichi cut in, "Actually sir, we have no idea." Staring at him, Yamato blinked. 

"You're… behavior last night was entirely inappropriate. Urges like that should be left untried and set aside in your mind. You really shouldn't be…" Taylor paused for a second. 

"Shouldn't be what sir? Because I don't see how we've done anything wrong." 

"D-don't see…" Taylor stuttered. "You kissed him!" he yelled, pointing at Yamato who noticeably shrunk further into his chair. 

"Your point being?" Taichi asked, disinterested. 

"He's another boy. It's unnatural for you to… to kiss him as you did." 

"I'm sorry sir, but you're going to have to enlighten me a bit, I'm afraid I don't see how what I did was wrong." 

"Are you trying to get your ass expelled Yagami? What you did last night was wr—" 

"Rightfully my business and not yours." Taichi cut in. 

Glaring the principal slammed his palms against his desk, "Yamato could you leave us for a moment?" 

Yamato nodded, and with a side-glance at Taichi, left the office. 

Sighing Yamato closed the office door behind him and walked back over to the chairs, surely he wouldn't be able to get off that easily. He would, at the very least, be getting a phone call home to inform his father or his 'wrong doings'. And then the pain would come, then… Yamato wasn't sure he knew what would happen when his father found out. 

Within the next half-hour the principal's office door swung open and an enraged Taichi stalked out of it, not even stopping to wait for Yamato. 

Looking from his boyfriends re-treating back to the open office where the principal sat smiling at his desk and made no move to come and get him, Yamato stood quickly and ran to catch up with Taichi. 

"Taichi! Taichi, wait up!" Yamato cried, speaking for the first time since their greeting that morning. Halting in his tracks Taichi turned around angrily and glared at Yamato. Widening blue eyes stared into the chocolate brown orbs he loved so much, looking for some sort of an answer, "Taichi?" 

"I'm being transferred out of the school." 

"What? Why?" 

"'Say's it'll do me good to get away from you. 'Says that way I won't have those 'sub-conscience urges that I seem to be making conscience beyond my will'!" Taichi told him, dramatically waving his arms around in the air. 

"H-he can't send you anywhere without your parents permission." 

"Uh-huh, yeah, I know. Too bad he's already gotten it." Taichi replied sarcastically. 

"Oh… well… it probably won't be that bad I mean… we can still see each other on the weekends?" 

Closing his eyes Taichi shook his head; "No we can't Yama." 

Lowering his voice slightly, fearful of the answer Yamato asked, "Where are they sending you?" 

Sighing Taichi replied, "Some boarding school outside the city. A boarding school. They're going to make me live at a school…"

"Taichi…"

He laughed bitterly, "And the thing about this is… it's an all boys school. How the _hell_ am I supposed to get rid of these 'sub-conscience urges' when they're sending me off to a place that'll be full of the one thing I'm attracted to?" Yamato stayed quiet. "Yama? You okay?" 

Nodding slowly he kept his head lowered, not willing to look into the others eyes. 

Walking closer to him Taichi wrapped his arms around Yamato's shoulders and kissed his forehead. "It'll be alright. I won't let those 'sub-conscience urges' get the better of me." He joked. Laughing slightly Yamato looked up. "I love you Yama. No one else." 

Yamato nodded, "I know, I love you too Taichi." 

Taichi smiled. 

--------

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A little short and nothing really happened I know, but it's just the first chapter. I swear…

---BlueMoonEmpress---


	2. A Bunkmate Called Jealousy

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And here's the second chapter! Same rules apply for this one as they do the first… but if I have to go through them again, I guess I will.

Ages:

Jyou – 18 

Taichi, Yamato, Sora, Mimi, Koushiro, Ryou, Wallace – 17

Miyako, Ken – 16

Takeru, Daisuke, Hikari – 15

By the end they're all one year older then these ages.

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon… or anything about Digimon. I'm just a fan that uses the shows characters to help work out her twisted mind through stories. 

Warning: This fic contains Yaoi, if you hadn't caught on to that fact through the first chapter… I think you should probably read through it again. 

Subconscious Urges 

BlueMoonEmpress

Chapter 2

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A Bunkmate Called Jealousy 

"Oh crap, how am I going to get through this?" Taichi asked himself as he walked into his new school. Torrents of young boys filing past him. He gulped, "This may be harder then I thought…" 

"Yagami Taichi?" A voice asked. 

Spinning around Taichi grinned at the kid, "That'd be me." 

"Great, welcome to Gildred's school for boys. My name is Kido Jyou and I'll be your guide for today." His smiled was strained. 

"Wow, is it really that bad here?" Taichi asked, picking up on the slightly sarcastic tone in his voice. 

Without hesitation Jyou replied, "Truthfully, it's really not, I'm just having a bad day." 

"Ah, okay gottcha." Taichi winked at him. 

Rolling his eyes Jyou continued, "Your room is with all the others residing S3s, which is—" 

"S3?" Taichi asked. 

"Yeah, senior threes, grade eleven?" 

"Oh, okay." 

Jyou continued, "Which is over in the south wing, I'll be showing you where it is momentarily. Classes are held in the east wing, they start at eight thirty, no later. Breakfast is at seven. There's a door that you go through to get to the dorms, after eight thirty it's locked so no one can get back in until after classes are finished. Five period day's, lunch after the first three at twelve thirty. School ends any time after three, depending on what class you happen to be in. Supper is at five thirty, you eat in this room right," Jyou paused, "here. You have exactly an hour for each meal." 

"You do this a lot don't you?" Taichi asked, before Jyou started again. 

"Yeah I do, how can you tell?" 

"You remind me of this really bored tour guide we had once when I was a kid, he for some sort of park or something and this guy was so disinterested that—"

"Can we get back to the tour?" Sighing Taichi nodded. "Have you checked in at the front office yet?" Taichi shook his head, Jyou sighed, "Follow me." 

Once checked in, Taichi was fitted for his uniform, which he complained about greatly, got his timetable and his room number, which he then found out, was already occupied. 

"Great… a roomy." Taichi remarked sarcastically. 

"You expected a room to yourself?" Jyou asked casually slipping by Taichi and continuing his tour. 

Finally getting to his room Taichi sighed, relieved as he slipped his bags off his shoulders. "So… who am I bunking with?" 

"That'd be me." Another voice answered, swirling on a chair then standing. The figure walked towards him and stuck out his hand, "Izumi Koushiro, it's nice to meet you." 

Taking it Taichi replied, "Hey, I'm—"

"Yagami Taichi, I know. Unlike you I was well informed," Koushiro grinned and went to move back to his chair. "The bed on the right is mine, you get the one of the left. There's closet space or drawer space really, since we don't exactly have that many clothes to be hanging up. But we do have a small closet over in the corner." Taichi nodded, placing his bags on his newly claimed bed. "This," Koushiro tapped the laptop lightly, "is a delicate machine. I will allow you to use it if you ask. But please, don't touch it otherwise." 

Nodding again Taichi laid back on his bed, "No problem Koushiro, I'm not much for computers anyway." 

"Well, I'll leave the two of you alone. I have homework to do," Jyou said as he left. 

"See ya Jyou." 

"Know him well?" Taichi asked, staring up at the stucco ceiling. 

"M'hm, known him for years. He's one up from us, S4." 

"Hey, what's up with your grading system anyway? S3, S4… the hell?"

"Don't forget S1, and S2. It's just easier to say then senior three or grade eleven I guess. Truthfully, I never really thought about it." Koushiro answered. 

"Oh, okay." 

"So, what are you in here for?" Koushiro asked. 

"What?" 

"Well, obviously you're not here because you want to be, so someone must be making you for some reason or another." 

"Huh, you're good." 

"So?" 

Taichi sighed, "I got sent here to get rid of my 'sub-conscience urges'." 

"Your what?" 

"'Sub-conscience urges'. To come out I kissed my boyfriend in front of the entire school during one of their dances. But truthfully, I don't understand how sending me here is supposed to help me." 

"You're gay?" 

"Yeah, that a problem?" Taichi asked, leaning on his elbows. 

Koushiro smiled, "Not at all. Just confirming what I had already suspected." 

Taichi narrowed his eyes, "Suspicions that you had before or after I actually told you?"

"Before." 

"Ho-how'd you know?" Koushiro only smiled at him, eyes widening it finally clicked, "Oh! You are too!" 

"Bingo." 

"Hey cool. This should work good for the both of us then. We can stay up late and talk about boys and makeup!" Koushiro raised an eyebrow; "I was joking. Haha? You know _fun-ny_?" 

Nodding slowly Koushiro turned back to his computer, "Alright Taichi. Whatever you say…" 

--------

_"Taichi!"_ Yamato cried over the phone. 

"Hey Yama, what's up?" 

Yamato groaned, _"I'm kinda under house arrest."_

Taichi raised a brow "That was all the punishment your dad gave you for what happened?" 

Yamato stayed quiet for a minute then, _"He doesn't know…" _

Pause, then, "What?"

__

"The principal never phoned him, so he has no idea." 

"Well that's great Yama, but then why the house arrest?"

__

"Dad found my stash…" He said quietly. 

"Your… fuck Yama I thought you gave that up!" Taichi growled over the phone.

__

"I did! This was an old stash I swear! I just forgot I had it. Kept it incase of emergency's…" 

Taichi sighed, "Alright, I believe you." 

__

"So how are you settling in?" Yamato asked, changing the subject. 

Taichi didn't fight it, "It's alright so far. My roommates pretty cool." 

__

"Roommate?" 

"Yeah, this guy named Koushiro. Real computer nerd." 

__

"Oh, well that's cool." 

Taichi noticed the slight change in his attitude, "Yama?"

__

"Hmm?" 

"You're not thinking that I would do something with someone else, are you? Because I thought I made it clear to you that I wouldn't."

__

"I—I know Taichi. But I think I have the right to be a little paranoid, I mean… we're going to be apart for a long time…" 

"Then I get to be paranoid too Yama." 

__

"What? Why?" 

"Well, it's not fair that I don't have to worry about you going off with some studly dude, and riding off into the sunset with him." 

__

"You know I would never do that to you Taichi." 

"And you should know the same Yamato." 

__

He sighed,_ "You're right. I'm sorry." _

"Ahem," Koushiro's voice coughed above him. 

"Ah… look Yama, I got to go. Time to go and get poisoned by the stuff they serve around here." 

He sighed again,_ "Alright. Phone me next week?" _

Taichi nodded, although he knew Yamato couldn't see it, "You know I will. Talk to ya then babe." 

__

"Bye Taichi." 

Hanging up Taichi grinned at Koushiro who was smirking above him, "Who was that?" 

"That, was the beautiful blonde that makes having to come here worth all the while." 

"Ah, so that's who's in the picture that you think you hid from me, that is currently hiding underneath your bed. 

Taichi's brow creased, "How'd you know about that?"

"You're not very good at keeping secrets Taichi." 

"Huh… don't know how many times I've been told that," Taichi groaned as he fished for his picture under the bed. "This beautiful blonde is the love of my life, his name is Yamato."

"I figured, since that's what you called him on the phone." 

"Ah, right." Taichi fumbled, as he leant over and placed the picture frame on his bedside table. 

"Come on, we don't want to be late to eat." 

--------

Yamato sighed and hung up the phone. He couldn't tell Taichi that his father had caught him _using_ his stash instead of just finding it. He'd promised that he would stop, and he had. For a while anyway. But with everything that's happened lately he just couldn't… couldn't find a reasonable answer not to do it. So he did it, and he got caught, and he'll be lucky if he's allowed outside within the next two months. 

"God Taichi… why'd you have to go?" Yamato muttered bringing his legs up close to his chest. 

Slowly drifting of into sleep, Yamato was startled awake by a knocking on his front door. 

Rubbing out invisible wrinkles on his silk black blouse, Yamato walked over to the door and opened it. 

"Ken?" Yamato asked confused. 

"Can I… can I come in?"

Nodding his head uncertainly he stepped out of the way and Ken timidly slid inside the apartment. "Not that I don't appreciate the visit but why are you here?" Yamato asked as the two of them walked into the kitchen. 

Ken sat on one of the stools, "I couldn't think of anywhere else to go. I'm sorry if I'm bothering you Yamato…" 

"You're not bothering me Ken. I'm just surprised you'd come to me. We haven't always been the best of friends," Yamato said, laughing slightly. 

Ken nodded and smiled shyly, "I know."

"So, what can I do for ya?" 

Bowing his head Ken shut his eyes, "I—I can't go back home…" 

Furrowing his brow Yamato asked, "Why not?" 

"I'm not wanted… they don't really care for me… they never did…" 

"Ken I'm sure that's not true—"

Looking up Ken's violet eyes glittered, "But it is true Yamato. They don't want me… they want Osamu…" He whispered. 

"Osamu?" Yamato asked. 

Ken nodded, "M-my brother…" 

"You have a brother?" 

He shook his head this time; "Not anymore… he was killed in a car crash when I was younger." 

"I—I'm sorry…" Yamato offered. 

"It's okay. It happened a long time ago, although my parents don't seem to be as over it as I am…"

"Ken?"

"Do you think I'm smart Yamato?" 

He blinked, "O-of course I do."

"Really smart? Or just smart enough smart?" 

"Really smart?" He guessed. 

"Glad somebody thinks so…" 

"What do you mean Ken?" 

"Osamu was smart, he was one of those people that you loved to hate because everything came so easily for them. But he still studied really hard, just to gain their respect…" 

"He sounds like you." Yamato remarked. 

Ken laughed bitterly, "All they ever do is push me to be like him, so it's no wonder we have so many of the same traits… only he was actually smart. Naturally so." 

"But Ken you—"

"Could I stay here Yamato?" Yamato stared at him dumbfounded, "For a little while anyway? I don't want to bother you but I really don't think I can go home right now."

"I—I'm not sure Ken. I mean, it's not that I don't want you to, its just my dad…" 

"Your dad what?" Masaharu Ishida walked into the kitchen. 

"Dad…" 

Ken stood and walked over to him, "Good evening Mr. Ishida, I was wondering if perhaps I could spend a few nights here? My parents are out of town and they don't want me staying home alone." 

Masaharu blinked, "Ah… sure, I guess that's alright." 

Ken smiled, "Thank you sir." 

"No problem." he blinked and walked into his bedroom. 

"How… how did you do that?" Yamato asked, leaning across the counter. 

Ken shrugged and smiled, "I seem to have a way with parents that aren't my own." 

--------

"…Remember the part when… hold on," Yamato laughed as he dug for his keys in his pocket and hurriedly opened it, running for the phone, "Hello?" He asked, breathlessly. 

__

"Whoa, catch you at a bad time?"

"Taichi!" Yamato cheered. 

__

"The one and only. So, what's up?" 

"Just got back from a movie with Ken." 

_"Ken? Since when do you hang out with him?"_ Taichi asked. 

"Since he started living here?" Yamato shrugged, perching himself on the table next to the phone, Ken walked into the apartment and went straight for the kitchen. 

_"Since he… what?!"_

"What? He's having a tough time at home and came to me for help. 'Guess you're not the only one with a roommate now Tai." 

_"Guess not…"_ Tai grumbled. 

"Is that jealousy that I hear? Could Tai be jealous of lil ol' Ken?" 

"Hey!" Ken yelled from the kitchen, having heard his last comment. 

_"I'm not jealous…" _Taichi answered, _"I was just curious."_

"Okay, good. So, how's life?" 

_"School sucks eggs."_

"Aw, how come?"

_"It's school. How much better can it get?"_

"Well, cheer up. I'm sure it'll get better." 

_"It better." _He paused, _"I miss you Yama…" _

"I miss you too." 

_"Do you love me still?" _

"Love you always Tai." 

_"Good, 'cause I love you too." _

"Good." 

He heard Taichi sighed, _"Ah crap… I got to go…"_

Yamato frowned, "Alright… I'll talk to you next week?" 

Taichi nodded and said, _"You bet. 'Till then Yama." _

"'Till then Tai." 

"How's Taichi doing?" Ken asked as Yamato hung up the phone. 

"Says schools the shits. But that's to be expected." 

"Private schools are no fun." 

"Oh hey that's right, you go to one right?" 

Ken nodded, "Yup. May not have to live there but just going there is bad enough thank you." 

Yamato nodded, "Wanna make popcorn and watch more crappy movies?" 

Ken grinned, "Always." 

--------

Taichi frowned as he set the phone down, "What's the matter?" Koushiro asked, turning away from his laptop. 

"This kid I know, Ken, is staying at Yama's place…" 

"And?" 

"And what? He's got another guy living at his house!"

"Uh-huh. And you don't have anybody living with you." 

Taichi glared, "You know what I mean…" 

"I know Taichi, you're jealous." 

Sputtering Taichi answered, "I am _not_ jealous!" 

"Right, and I'm Michael Jackson." 

Sighing Taichi flopped down onto his bed; "I hate being apart." 

"I know the feeling." 

"You do?" He peered out at the red headed computer whiz. 

"Yeah, I have had some experience in the world of dating you know." 

"I never said you didn't!" 

"Good, because I have."

"With who?" Taichi asked curiously. 

Koushiro paused for a moment, "Jyou…" 

Eyes widening so much Koushiro thought they might fall out of his friend's head as he replied, "Jyou! The tour guide Jyou?" Blushing Koushiro nodded. "Wow… just… wow, never would have guessed…" 

"Guess this just teaches you never to assume Taichi." 

"Hell yeah it does. You… and Jyou?" 

"Will you shut up about it already? It was a while ago and we're still good friends and I'd like to keep it that way." Koushiro snapped. 

"Sorry…" 

"S'okay. Now did you want help with your math or not?"

--------

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---BlueMoonEmpress---


	3. Of Train Wrecks and Temperatures

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Third chapter is up and running. I hope you're enjoying it so far, I know I am! ^^

Subconscious Urges 

BlueMoonEmpress

Chapter 3

__

Of Train Wrecks and Temperatures 

Sighing dramatically Taichi fell onto his bed, "It's… over. I'm done… it's all over…" he continued to mumbled as he stared up at the ceiling. 

"You know, it wouldn't have been as bad if you'd studied more." 

"But then I wouldn't be myself. You see, when it comes to test, even the really important ones, I tend to just cram in all the info that I think I'll need the night before, then I figure I'm ready to go." 

"Does that work?" 

Taichi shook his head, "Nope, not once. But why stop tradition?" Taichi turned his head and grinned at his friend. 

"You know Taichi, sometimes you're incomprehensible." 

"Why thank you 'Shiro." Said boy just sighed and shook his head slowly. "So what are you doing for the summer?"

"Me? I'm not really sure. My parents will be at the beach house for sure, and I don't really have any way to get there because I doubt they'll bother themselves from cheating on each other to have the decency to come and pick me up. So, I'll probably be doing the same thing I did last year, staying at home and getting a head start for next year." 

Taichi gapped at him; "You're going to spend your summer studying?" 

Koushiro nodded, "More then likely, why? What do you have planned?" 

"Well, for one thing I'm going home. Get to see my parents and little sister for the first time in what? Four months or something. But I'll probably be spending most of my time with Yama. Catching up and all," he winked. 

Koushiro laughed, "I kind of figured that." 

Taichi sat up, "Hey, you should come with me! You could stay at my place, it's doubtful that my parents will mind. I mean, they don't really notice anything, and they'll more then likely love you anyway. I mean look at our room, I've never lived in a room this clean before!" 

Thinking for a moment Koushiro nodded his head, "You know, that might be nice. It's been a while since I've taken a vacation." 

"Excellent!" Taichi said, standing. "I'm going to start packing, the sooner I'm out of here the better!" 

Nodding Koushiro smiled, "Yeah, me too." 

--------

"You sure we're taking the right train?" Koushiro asked. 

"Positive. I checked everything on that laptop of yours." 

"What? You never asked…" Koushiro's sentence trailed.

Taichi shrugged, "Worry not my friend. All I did was check to see the train schedule. I swear that I did no harm to your computer." 

Eyes narrowed Koushiro looked at his friend, "If I log on and find that you've downloaded some sort of obscene material… you're a dead man." 

Taichi laughed, "Relax! I told you I didn't do anything to harm your toy." 

"T-toy? This is not a toy Taichi! This happens to be a very expensive machine!" 

"Okay. Whatever you say 'Shiro." 

Sighing Koushiro gave up and leaned his head against the windowpane. "How long is this going to take?" 

"Two to four hours." 

"What? T-two to four hours…?" 

"Yeah, why?"

"I don't really deal all that well in moving vehicles. I get highly nauseated." 

"Oh crap…" Taichi sighed, leaning his head against the back of his chair, "This isn't going to be a fun ride home is it?" 

Closing his eyes Koushiro nodded his head, "I should be fine if I sleep most of the way…" he sighed, wincing as the train rocked and his head hit the window. "Ow…"

"Here, lean on my shoulder," Taichi said, wrapping his arm around his friends shoulders. 

Smiling Koushiro did so, "Thanks Taichi…" he replied lazily.

"Sure 'Shiro, anytime." 

--------

Stretching and yawning loudly Taichi bent down and grabbed his suitcase. "Ready?" Nodding his head slowly he bent to get his suitcase as well, but almost succeeded in falling over. 

"Whoa, hey, you alright there buddy?" Taichi asked, steadying his friend. 

"Yeah, I'm all right. Just a little dizzy…" 

"Well then here, let me take your bag alright?" 

Koushiro nodded, "Yeah, sure, alright Taichi…" 

Slinging the others bag over his shoulder Taichi stood up and looked around, trying to see if his family was there to pick him up yet. 

"They probably forgot I was coming home today…" He commented gloomily. 

"I'm sure they didn't forget Taichi, they're just probably a little late." 

"Yeah…" 

Thirty minutes later and no one had shown up yet. 

"Let's give them another half hour, then we'll call a cab or something alright?"

Taichi nodded, "Yeah, alright Koushiro." 

Another past, and still nobody. 

Taichi stood. "I'm going to call Yama." 

Walking to a payphone Taichi dialed his friend's number.

__

"Hello, Ishida residence." An unfamiliar voice answered. 

"Ah… is Yamato there?" 

__

"He's in the shower at the moment, can I take a message?" 

"Ah, well… y—no, no never mind. I'll call back later." 

__

"Alright."

"Bye…" he hung up the phone. 

"Is he coming?" Koushiro asked walking up to him. 

"No, I didn't even get to talk to him. Someone else answered the phone." 

"So?" 

"He was in the shower, I'll try back in a little bit." 

"Okay." 

--------

Ken hung up the phone when Yamato poked his head out of the bathroom door, "Who was it?" 

"Oh, you are out. Someone phoned for you, they didn't give me a name or anything, just said they'd called back later on." 

Yamato nodded, walking out of the bathroom, a towel hanging loose around his waist. "Voice sound familiar?" 

"Not to me, probably would have to you though. The guy sounded a little freaked when I answered the phone."

"Freaked?" Yamato asked curiously, opening the fridge, taking out the milk carton and taking a sip. 

"Yeah, like he wasn't expecting anybody except you to answer the phone." 

"Oh," Waving the carton a bit as an offering Ken shook his head, shrugging Yamato put it back in the fridge. "I'm not sure who it could have been, but I guess I'll know when they phone back later." 

Ken nodded, then looked at Yamato, "Are you going to get dressed?"

Yamato leaned his elbows on the counter, "Why should I?"

"Good enough answer." Ken shrugged. 

The phone rang again, "I'll get it," Yamato said, pushing off of the counter. "Hello?" He asked picking it up. 

__

"Yama?"

"Taichi?"

__

"Yeah, who was it that answered the phone before?" 

"So that was you who phoned, I was wondering who it was." 

__

"Yeah, it was me. But who answered?"

"Ken, why?"

__

"Oh, no reason." He paused, _"I'm home."_

"You're home? Since when?!" Yamato asked excitedly. 

__

"Well, I'm not **home** yet, I'm at the train station."

"Are you waiting for you parents?"

__

"Sorta… I—I think they may have forgotten that I was coming home today."

"What would make you think that they forgot? How long have you been waiting?" 

__

"Almost an hour and a half now." 

"Shit Tai, you should have phoned me sooner, I'll be right there to pick you up." 

__

"Thanks Yama."

"Of course Tai. I'll be there as fast as I can." 

__

"Alright, see ya soon."

"Alright." He hung up, "C'mon Ken, we're going for a ride." 

"Where are we going?" 

"The train station. Taichi's there and it seems his parents forgot that he was coming home today." 

"He didn't tell you that he was coming home today?" Ken asked cocking his head to the right slightly. 

"No, actually. I found that a little strange myself. But I guess he wanted it to be a surprise or something," He smiled, "Well, come on, let's go get my beautiful boyfriend." 

--------

Taichi hung up the phone again and smiled at Koushiro, "Success, I knew Yama'd never be able to say no to me." 

"Actually Tai I heard your conversation, at least your side of it and not once did I hear you ask if we could get a ride. So I'm going to assume that he was the one who offered."

Grumbling Taichi replied, "Wasn't it you that told me not to assume?" 

"Yes, but it appears that my assumption was correct," Koushiro replied smiling. 

"Stupid smart people…" 

Fifteen minutes later Taichi found himself smiling brightly as he spotted bright blonde hair bobbing up and down around the crowed of people. 

"Yama!" He yelled and ran towards the golden shine. 

Blue eyes brightened greatly as Yamato spotted that great brown bush atop his boyfriend's head, "Taichi!" 

The both of them ran towards each other and latched onto the other, hugging and kissing passionately, not caring about all the stares they were receiving from the passerby's of the train station. 

"I missed you so much…"Yamato said, hiding his head in the crook of Taichi's neck. 

"I missed you too…" Taichi replied, smelling the scent that was Yamato. "Did you get a new shampoo?" 

Laughing Yamato looked up and ran a finger down Taichi's cheek; "You're weird." 

Eyes widening and mouth gasping like a fish Taichi said, "I am not! I think _you're_ the weird one." 

"That's hard to believe." Yamato turned when he heard someone cough, "Oh, I brought Ken along, is that alright?" Yamato asked. 

Looking at the slightly shorter boy that stood behind Yamato, he shrugged, "Only if you don't mind my tagalong." 

"I resent that you know, you were the one that invited me." Taichi grinned at Koushiro's sour attitude. 

Turning to face his friend Taichi frowned playfully, "I thought by now 'Shiro, that you would remember not to take me so seriously." Looking at Taichi, Yamato poked his side. "Yama, this is Koushiro, my roomy, Koushiro, Yamato." 

Extending his hand, Koushiro smiled, "I've heard a lot about you Yamato, it's nice to finally put a face to the name." 

Yamato smiled as well, taking his hand, "You too Koushiro." 

Looking down at the ground Ken 'ahemed'. The others turned towards him. 

"Oh!" Yamato's eyes widened, "Sorry, Koushiro, this is Ken, Ken, Koushiro." He introduced. 

"It's nice to meet you," Koushiro said, extending his hand once again. 

"You too," Ken said softly, shaking the offered hand. 

Looking at Taichi wearily Yamato asked, "Do you have to go straight home?"

Taichi nodded, "Yeah, I better do that. Go home and surprise the heck out of my parents. My mother will look at her watch and curse, while my father will look at me dumbfounded, and Hikari probably won't even be there." 

"Cheerful family." Koushiro remarked. 

"I know." 

"Well, let's get out of here." Yamato said as he took Taichi's hand in his own, leading the four of them to his car. 

As they neared the car Taichi yelled, "Shot gun!" and got in the front passenger seat. 

Sighing Ken said nothing and slid into the back with Koushiro, the entire way back he spent staring at his hands. 

They made it to Taichi's within twenty minutes and not surprisingly Taichi walked into the empty apartment. 

"Did I forget to mention the possibility that they wouldn't be here at all?" He said, dropping his bag to the ground. 

Koushiro did likewise and took a quick glance at the apartment; "You've got a nice place Taichi." 

He nodded, "Thanks 'Shiro." Taichi walked into his kitchen, "Ah, one thing I always loved about this place, fridge is always stocked." 

Yamato laughed, "You haven't changed Tai."

"I tried my best not to Yama." He closed the fridge door, "Feel free to raid the kitchen guys, I'm going to make sure Hikari didn't do too much harm to my room." He walked off to his room. 

Walking into the kitchen, Yamato turned to look at the other two visitors, "You guys want something to drink?"

"Water would be great thanks." Koushiro answered. 

"How 'bout you Ken? Anything?" He shook his head silently. Narrowing his eyes worriedly, Yamato nodded, "Okay. Two waters it is." 

__

"Oh this is horrible… no, this has to go… oh no… I am not sleeping with something like that on my wall. Oh… well, that can stay…" They heard Taichi mumble. 

Handing Koushiro his glass, Yamato walked over to Taichi's room, "Tai? You alright in here?" he asked peering inside. "Holy crap…" 

"That's that I said. So I'm going to redecorate before she gets home." 

"Go to it Tai." Yamato said, as he was about to leave, but was held back when something caught his arm.

"Leaving so soon?" Taichi whispered huskily into Yamato's ear. 

Closing his eyes Yamato breathed, "N-not if you don't want me to…"

"Hmm… good." Bring his lips to his partners they shared a searing kiss, that would have turned into more if a knock at the door hadn't made the both of them jump away from each other. "What?" Taichi asked irritated. 

Yamato looked at who was at the door and smiled seeing Ken, then punched Taichi lightly in the stomach for being rude, "Ken?" 

"Can I talk to you for a second?" He asked nervously. 

"Of course. I'll be right back Tai," he kissed him once more. Leading Ken out of the room he asked, "What's up?"

"I was just going to tell you that I'm going to head back over to your place. I'm not feeling all that well, and I don't think I make the best company right now." 

"You did look a little ill at the station and in the car ride here but," he put a hand to Ken's forehead, "you don't seem hot. But if you say you aren't feeling well then I'll drive you back to my place." 

"You don't have to do that Yamato. I'm sure I'll be able to make it there myself." 

"It's pretty far and besides, Taichi and Koushiro are probably tired from their travel. They should get some sleep as well," he pushed some hair in front of Ken's face behind his ear and smiled kindly, "Just let me go tell Tai." 

Ken nodded, "Alright Yamato."

"Tai?" Yamato called as he walked back into said boys room, "Ken's not feeling that great so we're going to get going. You guys probably want to sleep anyway, you had a long trip." 

"You're leaving? So soon?" Taichi asked disappointed. 

"I'll come back tomorrow. We can catch up then all right? Just call me when you wake up."

Taichi sighed, "Alright. Fine. Go, leave me alone." 

"You've been alone for the past four months, I think you can handle a few more hours." Yamato said, wrapping his arms around Taichi's shoulders. 

Taichi pressed his forehead to Yamato's, "Alright babe. But tomorrow I want you all to myself alright?"

"You got it Taichi." 

Ken and Yamato had left, and just as Taichi closed the door behind the two of them, curses began to fly out. 

Koushiro, who'd been in the kitchen the entire time, turned to look at his friend, "You okay?" 

"There's something going on between those two… they are way too close to just be friends! I mean, how many people go up to their friends and do this," imitating Yamato, Taichi pretended that Koushiro had hair in his face and went to move it behind his ear, slowly. "That's a little too friendly if you ask me." 

"Ah… yeah. Too friendly." Koushiro agreed, gulping. 

"See? Now why doesn't Yamato just think like you!" Taichi said, leaning on the kitchen counter. 

"It'll all work out in the end Tai, just be patient." 

"Koushiro, I thought you knew me better then to tell me to 'be patient'." 

He laughed, "Apparently not." 

Taichi sighed. 

--------

Ken was leaning on Yamato's shoulder the entire way back to his apartment, not really feeling up to talking.

"You doing okay?" Yamato asked concerned. Ken nodded. "Sit up for a second, we're here." Pulling into his designated parking spot, Yamato stopped and turned off the engine. 

Ken was about to get out when he suddenly held onto his head with both hands and sat back down. 

Yamato, who was by his side in a second, kneeled in front of him, "You okay?"

Ken didn't say anything as he clung tighter to his head and closed his eyes. 

"Can you stand?" Getting no response he sighed, "Ken, at least try and work with me." 

"M'sorry… head… spinning…" he said quietly. 

Sighing, Yamato stood. "Try to slowly stand up alright? Give me one of your hands, I'll keep you balanced." 

Giving Yamato one of his hands, Ken cautiously moved to get up, wobbling a bit as he did.

"That's good… now here," Once Ken was standing, Yamato wrapped one arm around his waist and then helped him walk into the apartment building. It took them almost five minutes to get to the elevator, another two for it to come, then one to get to Yamato's floor. 

Finally getting inside the apartment, Yamato placed Ken on the couch to lie down, "You doing all right Ken?"

"No, I feel like… like… shit."

Laughing, Yamato smiled softly, "I'll make you some tea alright? It should make you feel a bit better." 

"Thanks Yama…" 

"What're friend's for?" Yamato moved more hair from his face, and gasped, "Man did you ever get hot fast!" 

"Thanks for the compliment Yamato… but I'm really not in the mood right now." Ken joked, smiling lightly up at his friend. 

"You know what I mean nitwit, I'll go and get you a cool towel, then I'll get to the tea." 

Ken nodded closing his eyes, "Yeah, okay… thanks." 

"Anytime Ken, anytime…" he kissed his friends brow before he left for the kitchen.

--------

****

---BlueMoonEmpress---


	4. Homesick Melodies

Subconscious Urges 

BlueMoonEmpress

Chapter 4

__

Homesick Melodies 

Ken yawned as he rubbed his eyes and sat up on the couch. 

"Hey sleepy head. Feeling any better?" Yamato asked from the chair across the room. 

Ken nodded, "Yeah, a little bit." He paused, "I'm sorry I ruined yours and Taichi's homecoming." 

"It's not a problem Ken." Smiling, Yamato stood up, "I said I'd meet up with him later if you were feeling better." 

"Yamato, you don't have to stay here and take care of me. I'll be fine." 

"I know you will. But if I do go out I'm taking the cell and you will phone me if you need anything alright?"

Smiling Ken answered, "Sure Yama."

"Good." Yamato said, walking into the kitchen when the phone rang, "Hello?" He asked. 

__

"Hey Yama."

"Tai! Hey."

__

"Are we still on for today?"

Yamato looked over at Ken, "Yeah. Yeah I think we are." 

__

"Great." 

"So, what did you want to do?"

__

"Well, I thought maybe we could show Koushiro around town."

"Koushiro's coming with us?"

__

"Yeah, that isn't a problem is it?"

"No, not at all. But listen, I should go. Ken's still not feeling as well as he should and I was going to make him some lunch so, I'll talk to you later alright?"

__

"Yeah, okay Yama. Talk later."

"Later Tai." He hung up. 

"You don't have to make me lunch Yamato. I can do i—"

"It's not a problem Ken. Really," he smiled. 

"Is there something wrong?"

"Why would you think there was something wrong?" He asked, pulling out a pot. 

"Oh, I don't know. You haven't seen your boyfriend for half a year… I thought you'd be more eager to talk to him I guess." 

"I am eager! Just not when—" Yamato stopped himself. "You're not going to trick me into spilling my life's story again." 

"Oh come on. It makes for such a good time…" 

"For you maybe. I'm the one spilling everything." 

"Well… what if I promised to tell you something in return. Something you've been dying to know for months now…" Ken teased, leaning on the counter.

"You'd… tell me?" Yamato asked hesitantly. 

Ken nodded, "Figure now is a good a time as ever. It's a trade off, you tell me what's bugging you, and I tell… what you want to know." 

Yamato grinned, "Deal." 

"Great. Now, spill." 

Yamato sighed, "It's Koushiro…" 

"Thought so." 

"Will you let me finish?" Yamato growled. Grinning, Ken apologized. "Like I said, its Koushiro. He and Taichi seem to be a little too close to me… I mean, yesterday before we left he said that today was just gonna be me and him and now… he just phoned and said he wanted to take Koushiro sight seeing!" He ran a hand through his hair. 

"Alright, so you're mad that he's going with you guys?" 

"Yes, and the fact that there's more to this Koushiro guy then he lets on." 

"Like?"

"Have you not seen how he looks at Tai?" 

Ken thought for a second, "You may be right there." 

"See? He wants something more, whether or not he'll actually try and get more though I don't know that. I mean, for all I know they've already done it! They were roommates after all!"

"That's true. But Yamato you have to look at this from all angles. You may have noticed something in Koushiro's eyes but, did you see anything in Taichi's?" 

"Well, no." 

"See? The only time I ever saw that look in Taichi's eyes was when he was looking at you. You have nothing to worry about."

"You think?"

"I know. He won't do anything too stupid. I think he loves you too much."

"Thanks Ken." Ken nodded. "Now, what about your end of the deal?"

"I think we can discuss that later Yamato. I told you I would tell you and I will, but I'm still a little tired, and I think I'm going to take a nap. Is that alright?"

"Yeah, sure go ahead." 

Ken smiled, "Thanks Yama."

--------

"So are we all set for today?" Koushiro asked, looking up from his laptop. 

"I think so, Yamato sounded a little edgy on the phone though." 

"Maybe the guy he was with last night gave him a scare or something. He didn't look all that healthy." 

"No, he didn't. But then again, Ken was never one of the healthiest kids I've known. Always in and out of hospitals as a kid." 

"So you've known him for awhile." 

"Yeah, couple years now. We never really hung out with him though, he was more of a friend of my sisters." 

"Then why is he over at Yamato's?"

"'Guess he's still staying there for whatever reason… I really have no idea why'd he go to Yamato, I mean, if anyone I thought he'd go to Daisuke or to Yamato's little brother, Takeru." 

"Think there could be something more then friendship feelings involved?" 

Eyes bulging, Taichi choked, "What? Between the both of them?" 

"No, that's not what I meant. I meant for, Ken was it?" Taichi nodded. "Yeah, I meant that for Ken, not Yamato." 

"Oh, well I don't know. Truthfully, I don't have the slightest clue if Ken even likes guys. He's very… discreet about that. At least he used to be." 

"How so?" 

"We'd go out places as a group and the rest of us would go about and flirt with whomever we choose and Ken would always sit back and quietly drink his drink. Never made googly eyes at any girls, or guys for that matter." 

"Perhaps he doesn't like either." 

Taichi scrunched his nose, "So what, he's into… plants?" 

Koushiro shook his head, "No, just saying that perhaps he doesn't like either females or males." 

"So, he wouldn't want sex?" 

"No." 

"From either?"

"No." 

"But he's a guy…" 

"Yes." 

"Guys love sex…" 

"Not all guys." 

"But…" 

"Taichi, not all males are like you. Some of us can go for long periods of time and not even think about sex." Taichi just blinked at him. "Obviously, you've gone through most of your childhood fantasizing about it." 

"Most of it, yeah," Taichi replied looking satisfied. 

"Then you must be dying for it now that you're back home, and it's easily accessible." 

"Actually, now that you mention it…" Taichi looked from side to side. "I really am…" 

"Normal. You've gone without it for awhile now." 

"Yeah…" Taichi started to fidget. 

"Oh boy… perhaps you should phone Yamato back and schedule in some, alone time?" 

"Great idea!" Taichi said, running towards the phone. 

__

"Hello?" 

"Yama!" 

__

"Crap Taichi… you've been thinking about sex haven't you?" 

Taichi blinked, "H-how'd you guess…?" 

__

"You're only this excited over four things, food, soccer, me, and sex. And when those things are somehow combined… it's not pretty." 

"You know me too well Yamato. Now…" He heard Yamato sigh. "What? Why the sigh? What did I do?" 

__

"Why is it you always think that you've done something wrong?"

"Ah, because I usually have?"

__

"That's besides the point. How are we supposed to do anything like that, when we've got someone else with us today?"

"You have a point but," Taichi turned, "I can't just leave him alone! He's never been here before. He doesn't know where anything is and I don't want him to stay inside all day on that stupid laptop! I brought him home with me so that he wouldn't have to do that." 

__

"Why don't you call someone up and ask if they can take him out for the day? Miyako or someone." 

"Yeah! They'll have lots of stuff to talk about they both like computers!" 

__

"Alright. You arrange that and phone me later." 

"Alright, later Yama." 

__

"Bye Taichi." 

"So? Is everything all set?" Koushiro asked.

"Almost, I have to phone someone up first, I'm not going to make you sit inside here all day, and since you don't know where anything is…" 

"Taichi, I'll be fine. I'll go sightseeing for an afternoon. I won't have a problem as long as I have a map of the city." 

"A… map?"  
"You guys don't even have one do you?" Taichi shook his head, Koushiro sighed. 

--------

"So, what are you guys doing?" Ken asked, lying back against Yamato's legs. 

"I'm not sure yet… Taichi's going to phone me back." Yamato replied, running his fingers through Ken's hair. 

"Again?" 

"Yeah, again." 

"He's getting pretty bad at that."

"What do you mean?" 

"Phone abuse." 

Yamato laughed, "I see you're feeling better?" 

"Yeah. I don't know what came over me yesterday. I just felt really shitty all of a sudden." 

"It happens." Ken nodded and closed his eyes when the phone rang. "Hold on…" Yamato said getting up. 

Ken sighed and leaned back against the couch.

"Hello?"

__

"Yama!" 

"When do you want me over?"

Taichi blinked again, _"How'd…"_

"Taichi, we went through this. So when?" 

__

"Now…?" Taichi suggested. 

Yamato looked over at the boy that sat up against the couch, "Yeah. Okay." 

__

"Great! See ya soon Yama."   
"Yeah. Okay Taichi." Hanging up he turned to Ken, "Hey, I'm going to get going…" 

Ken looked up at him and smiled, "Alright. Have fun," he winked. 

Yamato laughed, "Yeah, alright." 

--------

"Yamato! Funny seeing you here!" Taichi joked, ushering him inside. 

"Haha Tai. Very funny." Yamato said while taking his shoes off. He was about to step forward when he was suddenly pushed back against the wall, lips pressed tightly against his own. 

Kissing back eagerly Yamato wrapped his arms around Taichi's waist, and slowly snaked his hands up Tai's shirt. 

"Your hands are cold," Taichi said, breaking away slightly. 

"So?" Yamato asked, kissing his neck. 

"It's cold." Yamato pulled away all together and sighed. "What? What'd I do?"

Not saying anything Yamato pushed Taichi away and walked into the bathroom. 

"Yamato? What did I do?" Hearing water running he went into the bathroom. "You're washing your hands?" Taichi asked confused. 

"With warm water," Yamato said, spraying water into his friend's face. 

"Oh." 

Yamato turned the tap off and walked back to Taichi, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and brought their lips back together. 

"Better?" Yamato asked. 

"Mm… much." 

Around an hour later Yamato and Taichi were lying around on the couch watching TV when suddenly Taichi asks, "So what's with the sudden bond with Ken?" 

Perplexed, Yamato looks up at his boyfriend and raises an eyebrow, "What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Well, it's just that you two were never close before I left and then suddenly he's living with you?" 

"He was going through a rough patch in his life Tai. He needed someone he could trust, and it just so happens that he came to me." 

"But why you?" 

"Why not me?" Yamato asked heatedly. 

"Th-that's not how I meant it!" Taichi squeaked. 

"Then how did you mean it?" 

"I'm just asking because he never seemed to take a huge interest in you before. I mean, we all hung out enough and he hardly ever talked to you at all!" 

Yamato shrugged, "I don't know what to tell you Tai. He stopped by my place one night asking if he could stay with me for a few days, he seemed really torn. I couldn't say no." 

"Now what? You two are the best of friends?" 

"Yeah, I guess you could say that. What's wrong with you Tai? Are you jealous or something?" Yamato asked, laughing lightly. 

"What? No! I am _not_ jealous. I don't get jealous." Taichi replied. 

"Sure Tai. Whatever you say." Yamato shook his head, "So what about you and Koushiro? You two seem pretty close." 

"We were roommates. Of course we're going to be a little close." 

"I guess that's true." 

"So, what are you up to tomorrow?" Taichi asked, changing the subject. 

"Ken and I have tickets for a play downtown." 

"What play?" 

"I'm not sure. He won't tell me. Just assures me that I'll love it to no ends." 

"Oh, so you're busy?" 

"Yeah. Why? Did you want to do something?" 

"Oh, it's no big deal. Just thought you might want to go see a movie or something." 

"Sorry Tai. Just that Ken and I made these plans a few weeks ago." 

"Hey, it's not a big deal. We'll go another time." 

"Yeah, okay." Yamato agreed. 

The hall clock donged twelve times. 

"I should get going Tai. My dad doesn't want me home too late tonight." Getting up Yamato kissed Taichi's lips softly before walking to the door. "I'll see ya later Tai!" 

Grumbling softly on the couch Taichi yelled, "Bye Yama." Scowling to himself, Taichi slumped down into the couch. "I don't get jealous… I don't get jealous… I don't get—who the hell am I kidding? I have to get Ken away from Yamato." 

--------

Whistling contently, Yamato walked home briskly in the cool night air, holding his sides firmly to keep the heat in. 

He was about to turn another corner when someone ran into him from behind, causing them both to fall to the ground. 

"I'm so sorry!" The stranger said as he pulled himself off of Yamato. "I was in a hurry and I didn't see where I was running and—"

Yamato cut him off, "Ken?" he asked, tilting his head to the side. "Is that you?" 

The shadowed figure nodded his head and looked up at who he bumped into, "Yamato! Just the person I wanted to see!" raising his arms for a hug Ken's hood slipped off his head. The street lamp showered down onto him casting an eerie glow on his battered face. 

Grabbing Ken's arms in mid-hug, Yamato held onto them as he looked into his friend's eyes, "What happened to you?"

"What are you talking about? I'm perfectly fine. Everything is just fine and dandy. Perfect and great." Ken rambled. 

"Your face…" Yamato said as he raised a hand to his friends pale cheek. "Who did this to you?" 

"I can't tell you." Ken answered simply. 

"Why not?" 

"Because telling just makes things worse." 

"Telling can also make things better. Do I know the person that did this?" Ken nodded slightly, "Someone we're close to?" 

"You aren't." 

"Alright, a friend of yours that I don't know?" Ken shook his head again. "Well, then who Ke—" Gasping Yamato covered his mouth. "He didn't…"

Ken just bowed his head. 

"Oh Ken…" taking his friend in his arms Yamato brought Ken close to him and hugged him tightly. "You're coming back with me." 

"Thanks Yamato…" 

--------

****

---BlueMoonEmpress---


	5. One Drink, Two Drink, Three Drink, Seven

Subconscious Urges 

BlueMoonEmpress

Chapter 5

One Drink, Two Drink, Three Drink, Seven

"How're you feeling?" Yamato asked sitting on the side of the bed. 

Rubbing his eyes clean of sleep Ken blinked up at his friend, "Yamato?"

Smiling Yamato nodded his head, "Yeah, it's me. Can I get you anything?" 

"A bottle of pills would be nice." Ken commented, holding his head tightly. 

"A headache?" Ken nodded. "Hold on a sec, I'll get you an aspirin." Standing Yamato walked out of the room and into the bathroom. Opening the mirror he took out a bottle and twisted the cap off, taking two pills he closed the bottle and walked into the kitchen and filled a glass with water. 

Once he was back in the bedroom Ken took the glass and pills readily. 

"Thanks Yama." Ken said gratefully after he swallowed. "I don't know what I would do without you sometimes." 

Yamato smiled, "That's what friends do. We help each other out." He paused. "So. are you going to tell me what happened?"

Sighing, Ken laid back down on the bed, "Do I have to?" 

"Not right now, but you will eventually tell me." 

"Yeah I know. But right now. I just kind of want to sleep." 

"Sure." Yamato said smiling. "Rest for a bit then you can spill."

Closing his eyes Ken shifted so that he was lying on his side, "I owe you one Yama." he mumbled sleepily. 

"You don't owe me a thing Ken." 

"Yes I do. I owe you so much for all you've done for me. you're the best friend I've ever had Yama."

Running and hand over his hair Yamato whispered, "You're my best friend too Ken. Now get some sleep." 

Ken nodded, "Yeah. sleep." 

Sighing Yamato stood and walked out of the room again, "What the hell happened Ken?" he asked himself. 

--------

"Coming!" Yamato yelled as he ran towards the door. "Hello-Tai!" He greeted as he wrapped his arms around him. 

"Hey Yama. What are you doing?" Tai asked, stepping into the apartment. 

"Just cooking an early dinner, incase Ken's still feeling up to going to the play."

"He's still not feeling well?" 

"I'm not really sure what happened, but I'm almost positive that his dad might have done something." Yamato confessed uncertainly. 

"Yamato.?" A voice asked behind the two of them. 

Smiling, Yamato gestured for Ken to stand beside him. "Come on over Ken. I'm just making some dinner now." 

"Did we miss the play?" Ken asked worriedly.

Yamato shook his head, "From what I remember you telling me it doesn't start until seven, so we still have a few hours before it starts."

"Oh good. I was worried we missed it for a moment." 

"Ahem." 

The two boys looked over at Tai, "Are you okay? Do you need some water?" Yamato asked. 

"Ah, no. No, I'm fine. But I'm obviously interrupting something so I'll just come by and see you tomorrow Yama." Taichi said uncomfortably. 

"Did you want to stay for dinner?" Yamato asked. "I've made more then enough to feed the two of us and three of you." He smiled. 

Laughing softly Taichi shook his head, "No. That's okay Yama. I'm just going to get going. I should probably see if Koushiro wants to do something."

"Oh. Okay then, I'll see you to-morrow." Leaning closer Yamato kissed his softly on the lips. "Bye." 

"Bye." Taichi said as he walked out the door. 

"I think I make him uncomfortable." Ken stated.

"What? Why would you think that?" Yamato asked, actually surprised. 

"Well. it's just that whenever I'm around it seems like he's always trying to get away from me. Or get you away from me, which ever way you might want to look at it." 

"That's not it at all. Taichi isn't the kind of guy that gets jealous. He said so himself." 

"Oh, and everything Taichi says is true?"

"Of course not. It's just I don't think he's lying about this one." 

"Alright Yamato. Believe what you wish." 

"Alright then I will." He replied smiling. 

Ken laughed lightly back, "So, what did you make?"

--------

"Tai?" Koushiro asked. 

"Hmm?" 

"What's up?" 

"I think Yama's cheating on me." 

"What in the world would make you think that?"

"Oh, I don't know, could it be the fact that a beautiful violet haired freak has practically moved in with him?" Taichi asked sarcastically. 

"That's a very plausible idea Tai, but did you ever think to consider that perhaps that 'beautiful violet haired freak' as you so kindly put it, doesn't have anywhere else to go?" 

"Of course I-" Taichi paused for a moment, "I just thought of that possibility now if that makes any difference." 

Koushiro shook his head, "God Tai." 

"Hey, it's not my fault that I forgot when Yama said that his dad might have hurt him or something." 

"You are so inconsiderate!" 

"What?" 

"The poor kid could be getting abused at home and all you care to think about is your own life!" 

"Well it kinda is my problem if while he's taking advantage of Yamato's kindness he's also stealing my boyfriend!" 

"I don't believe you." Koushiro mumbled. "I can't believe I ever liked you." 

Taichi stared at him, "What?"

"You heard me, I like you. Although in seeing your behavior now I can't understand why." 

"But Kou-!"

"Save it Tai. I don't want to hear it right now." Koushiro said turning his back on his friend, "I'm going to go and take a walk. I'd suggest that you take some time and think about what an ass you're being right now." 

"I'm being an ass? Me? I just got back from a year of _hell_ and you think _I'm_ being an ass?" Taichi asked as Koushiro walked towards the front door. 

Koushiro turned around and stared hard up at Taichi, "I'm sorry if I couldn't have made your stay at Gildred's more enjoyable, but you know what Tai? I thought last year was great, only because I had _you_ there to keep things moving. But if you didn't think that last year was even _a little good_ then fine." He turned back to the door. "When I get back I'll start packing my bags. I rather spend the summer by myself then with someone like you." 

Taichi stared at his friends retreating back as the door slammed in his face, "What?" He asked for what had to have been the fifth time that hour. 

--------

__

"Hello?"

"Are you cheating on me with Ken?" 

_"Tai?"_ Yamato asked confused. 

"Are you?" 

__

"No. Of course not. What would give you that idea?"

"Why has he practically moved in with you?" 

__

"He needs a place to stay?" Yamato told him, sarcasm lacing his voice. 

"Why can't he go home?" 

__

"Tai, I really don't think that's any of your business."

"If it concerns you, then it is my business." 

__

"No Tai. It's not."

"Look, if you are, then I would appreciate it if you would just tell me." 

__

"Well, I'm not. Sorry to burst your bubble Tai."

"Why don't I believe you?"

__

"I don't know. Maybe you have it so set in your brain that you can't stand to hear the truth?"

"Am I hearing the truth Yamato?" 

__

"Yes! God, why would I want to cheat on you?" 

"Well, I was away for practically a year and you and Ken have been spending a lot of time togeth-"

__

"I could say the same thing about you and Koushiro!" Yamato countered. _"You were with him for almost the whole year. Living in the same dorm, which is a lot smaller then my apartment. How do I know that you haven't been sleeping with him since you got there?"_

"That's different."

__

"How is it any different Tai?"

"Simple. He's not my type."

__

"Right. Like you haven't gone for red heads before." Yamato replied sarcastically. 

"Hey! That was a phase!" Taichi yelled. 

__

"Phase or no. It was a red head."

"Will you stop turning this around on me! This is about you and Ken!" 

__

"Nothing is happening between Ken and I! And if you can't believe that then. I guess our bond isn't as strong as I thought it was." Yamato said as he hung up. 

"Yamato, Yamato!" Taichi yelled at the dial tone. "Urgh!" he said slamming the phone onto its receiver. 

__

--------

"Nothing is happening between Ken and I!" Ken looked up at the mention of his name. "And if you can't believe that then. I guess our bond isn't as strong as I thought it was." Blinking, Ken walked over to Yamato as he pressed the 'talk' button of the phone and ended the conversation. 

"Anything the matter?" Ken asked, placing a hand on the fuming Yamato's shoulder. 

"Yeah." He said, but giving no more information. 

"Want to talk about it?" 

"Maybe later."

"Alright. Whenever you're ready." Ken said, walking back to the kitchen. 

"Taichi thinks I'm cheating on him!" Yamato spilled, both hands raised in the air. 

"With me?" Ken asked. 

"Yeah! I mean, how ludicrous is that?" 

Ken looked down, "Yeah, it's a pretty stupid idea." 

Noticing his screw up, Yamato waved his hands quickly, "No, no! That's not how I meant it! I just meant the idea of me cheating on him was lu-" 

Ken smiled slightly, "It's okay Yamato. I knew what you meant." 

"I just.god." Yamato said as he fell into the chair across from Ken. 

"If you want my opinion-"

"Yes, please." 

"I completely understand why he would think you were cheating on him." 

"What?"

"One of the difficulties of being in a long distance relationship. You defensives go way up and if there's even the slightest chance that you think your partner could be cheating on you, you tend to get set on that one idea." 

"But it's just so. so." 

"Not something you would do?" Ken helped. 

"Yeah." Yamato agreed. "And Taichi knows that too." 

"Before he might have." 

"This is crazy Ken. I don't understand how he could think such a thing."

"I know it's hard to understand Yama but things like this happen." 

"Yeah, I know."

"But you'll get passed it." 

"You think?" Yamato asked hopefully. 

"I know." Ken smiled. 

--------

"Yamato, just call him," Ken said exasperated. 

"What if he won't talk to me?" 

"I would think that he would jump at the chance, since the last time you two talked you were the one to hang up on him." 

"Maybe." Yamato sighed and once again put the phone down. 

"Call him! What harm could it bring?" 

"I guess." 

"No guessing, just dial." 

Yamato sighed again, "Alright!" he cried as he picked up the phone once again and dialed in the number he had memorized so long ago. 

__

"Hello?"

"Hi, is Taichi there?" 

__

"Hold on a moment." They said, _"Taichi! The phones for you!"_

"Alright!" Yamato heard another voice call. _"Hello?"_

"Uh. hi." 

__

"Hey Yama."

"So. how're you?" Yamato asked nervously. 

__

"Just drop it Yama, what is it that you wanted?" Taichi snapped. 

Yamato flinched, "I just wanted to talk to you. about yesterday-"

__

"Yeah, there was something I wanted to say about that too." 

"Yeah?" Yamato asked, his voice slightly more hopeful. 

__

"Yeah, I think we should take a break."

"A-a what?" He squeaked. 

__

"A break. You know. take a little time away from each other." 

"But we just spent half a year apart from each other! I don't want to have to spend anymore time away from you!" 

_"It shouldn't be that hard. I mean, you'll have Ken to keep you company on those cold and lonely nights."_ Taichi replied sarcastically. 

"I already told you there wasn't anything going on between Ken and I! Nothing! He's a friend! And he doesn't have anywhere else to go right now!" Yamato yelled, "So in trying to be a good person I'm letting him stay with _me_. Is that such a bad thing?"

__

"That depends."

"On what?" 

__

"What you're really doing with Ken when I'm not there."

"God Taichi! Who the hell do you think I am? I am _not_ the slut that people like to make me out to be! You know that! At least I thought you did." Yamato mumbled quietly. 

__

"I thought I knew a lot of things Yamato, but apparently I didn't really know anything at all." 

"Why are you doing this?"

__

"It's what we need right now Yama."

"What we need. what I need is you Tai! Don't you understand that?" 

__

"Have you ever thought to consider what I might need right now Yama? And right now what I need is to get as far away from you as possible." 

Yamato fell silent for a moment, trying to catch his breath. 

"Yamato? Are you alright?" Ken asked, looking at him concerned. 

Licking his lips, Yamato's eyes narrowed as he spoke into the phone, "You know what Tai? That's fine. That's just fine with me. go ahead and run away. Maybe this is just the proof that I needed that you never really loved me in the first place."

__

"That's not fair Yamato! I love you and you know it!" 

"Do I?" 

_"Yes! I've told you countless times!"_

"And I've told you over and over again that I am _not_ fooling around with Ken!" Yamato yelled, his hand gripping the phone. Ken winced. 

__

"This is different."

"Fuck Taichi! How is this _any_ different?!"

__

"It jus-"

"No. Just shut up Tai. You want a break then fine. Let's just stop talking now." 

_"But Yamat-"_ Taichi was cut off by Yamato hanging up the phone. 

"Oh god." Yamato said as he slowly fell to the floor. "Oh god, oh god, oh god." 

"Yamato?" Ken asked, kneeling beside him, "You okay?" 

"Why won't he believe me? I never did anything to make him not trust me." Yamato asked, his voice muffled by his hands. 

"I know Yamato. Maybe he just needs time." 

"Fuck time, fuck Taichi, fuck love.!"

"Don't say that Yamato." 

"Why not? All of them suck anyway." 

Ken laughed lightly, "Yeah they do." 

Looking up at him Yamato wiped a sleeve over his eyes and clear away the tears, "God Ken." he said as he hugged his friend. "I love him so much."

"I know Yamato. I know."

--------

"But Yamato!" Taichi cried into dead air. "Shit." 

"Serves you right." 

"Stuff it Koushiro, I don't need this now." 

"Yes, you do. But I won't be the one to tell you. I'm leaving in an hour." 

"Where are you going?" 

"Home. To my big, empty house, where I'll be able to think in peace." 

"You don't have to leave." 

"I know I don't. I want to." 

"Why?" Taichi asked. 

"I thought we went through this Tai. I rather be by myself then be hanging around someone like you." 

"Koushiro." Taichi whined. "Please." 

"Please what?" 

"Don't leave." 

"There's nothing keeping me here Taichi." 

"'Shiro." 

"Oh don't, ''Shiro' me Taichi. You brought this onto yourself." 

They were both silent for a moment then, "Koushiro?" 

He sighed, "Yes?"

"Could I come with you?" Taichi asked so quietly that Koushiro almost didn't hear him. 

"What?" 

"Could I come with you." He repeated. 

"Why?"

"I don't want to be here right now. I need to get away." 

"You've been away for a year Taichi, how much longer do you plan on running?" 

"Until I've lost my breath."

Koushiro sighed, "If you're not ready in an hour I'm leaving without you." 

Taichi smiled and nodded, "Thanks 'Shiro." 

"You're wasting precious time Taichi." 

----------

"Kou-?"

"It'll be awhile yet Tai." Koushiro answered impatiently, turning the page in the book he trying to read. 

Taichi looked from side to side, trying to find something to pass the time as they traveled to Koushiro's house. It wasn't too far away from where their school was, so the trip back would be an easy one. 

"Watcha readin'?" Taichi asks, peeking over at the book held gracefully in Koushiro's hands. 

Snapping the book shut Koushiro glared up at Taichi, "You probably haven't heard of it." 

"Try me." 

Koushiro sighed, "'The Picture of Dorian Grey' by Oscar Wilde."

"So you were right, I haven't heard of it. Then again, I don't read much." 

"Hn." Koushiro grunted, going back to his book. 

"Is it any good?" Taichi asked hesitantly. 

"I'll tell you after I finish reading it." 

"But wouldn't you be able to tell if the book is good once you're half way threw it?" 

"No." 

"Why not?" 

"Because that's not how I work Taichi. I read the entire book, then criticize it." 

"Oh. Okay." Taichi said nodding his head slowly, "I see." 

"Hn." Koushiro grunted once again. 

Taichi puckered his lips and made a squeaking sound as he drummed his fingers on his lap and the ledge beside the window. 

Koushiro's eyes swiveled to the side as he glared at his tag-a-long; "Must you do that?" 

Tai stopped mid-squeak and peeked over at Koushiro, "Do what?" 

He pointed to the other boys lips, "That, with your lips." 

"What this?" Taichi grinned and pointed to his pearly teeth. 

Growling Koushiro turned his body sharply, so he was facing the aisle and not the annoying boy beside him. "This trip couldn't be short enough." Koushiro mumbled, once again going back to his book. 

----------

"This, is your house?" Taichi gapped as he stood in front of what to him, looked like some place a king should live. 

"It's not that big Tai." Koushiro told him modestly. 

"Not that. not that _big_?" He asked incredulously, "Koushiro this place is almost as big as our entire _school_. Now, don't tell me that isn't big." 

"Alright fine, so it's large." 

"Gigantic." 

"Whatever." Koushiro muttered walking up the front steps, Taichi following closely behind. "Mom! Dad!" Koushiro called, not really expecting a response. 

"Master Izumi! You're home." A middle aged girl smiled at him as she walked out into the foyer. "We weren't expecting you back for awhile. How was your trip?" 

Koushiro smiled back, "It was fine Marie." Tai nudged him from behind, "Oh, this is my friend Tai. It was his house I was staying at." 

"It's nice to meet you," Taichi said, extending his hand. 

She took it, "Likewise." 

"Are my mom and dad home?" Koushiro asked. 

"I'm sorry, we weren't expecting you back for another week or so. They left for the tropics." 

"Again?" Koushiro asked. 

"Again?" Taichi squawked. Marie stared at him strangely. 

"Ignore him Marie." Koushiro told her, shaking his head, "He's always like this." 

"Alright." She blinked. "Would you like anything to eat Master Izumi? I could get the cook to make the two of you a snack before dinner." 

"I think we'll be alright for now Marie. Thanks anyway. I'll be upstairs showing Tai around if you need me." 

"Alright." She said as the two friends walked up the marble steps. 

"Master Izumi?" Tai chuckled. 

Koushiro shoved him, "Shut up. I've been trying to get her to stop calling me that since I was a kid, but she won't stop, so I've stopped trying." 

"What is she anyway? Your nanny?" 

Koushiro shrugged, "She used to be that I guess, now I'm not quite sure."

"She's nice enough anyway." 

"Yeah, she is." 

"So. your parents are in the Tropics?" Taichi asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"M'hm, seems that way." 

"Again?" He lowered that one and raised the other. 

"My parents have money Tai. I thought you had figured that out by now." 

"Well. yeah, but I didn't think it was _this_ much." 

"'Guess this is all just natural for me." Koushiro said, stopping in front of a door, "This is your room." 

"I get my own room?" Taichi blinked. 

"Why wouldn't you? Not like we don't have the space." 

"I guess that's true." Taichi mumbled as he walked into the room he'd be staying in until the end of summer. "Holy." He gapped, looking around the room. "This is huge. This is like. the size of our entire apartment." 

"Hardly." Koushiro sighed. 

"Seriously. you're folks must do some serious stuff to be able to afford all this." 

"I guess." Koushiro shuffled his feet; "Did you want a tour?" 

"I think I better, I may get lost in here." 

"Hrn." 

"But first I need to make a phone call." Picking up the phone, he dialed in a number he cherished with all his heart. 

_"Hey, you've reached the Ishida's, we're not home right now so please leave a message after the beep."_

"Ah. hey, it's me. I just thought I'd let you know I'm. at Koushiro's. I'm going to stay here until school starts again. I don't know if you even care to hear this but I just thought I would tell you anyway. Alright, bye." Sighing, Taichi hung up the phone, "There." 

"Did you phone your parents?" 

"Huh? Oh, no." Taichi told him. 

"Who did you phone then?" Koushiro asked. 

"Yamato." Taichi sighed. 

----------

_"Ah. hey, it's me. I just thought I'd let you know I'm. at Koushiro's. I'm going to stay here until school starts again. I don't know if you even care to hear this but I just thought I would tell you anyway. Alright, bye."_

Wiping his eyes with his sleeve Yamato pressed the 'erase' button harshly and walked away from the answering machine. 

"Was it Taichi?" Ken asked as Yamato flopped down onto the couch, settling his head on his lap. He nodded, "Are you going to phone him back?" Yamato shook his head. "Why not?" 

"He didn't leave a number." Yamato answered logically. 

"Well, if he had, would you have called him?"

"Probably not." 

"Why?"

"I don't want to talk to him." 

"That's reasonable enough I guess." 

Yamato paused for a moment; "He hurt me Ken." 

"I know Yama, but he was hurt too." 

"Even though I hadn't done anything." 

"You might not have, but he thought you did and he didn't want to see the other possibility." 

"Yeah." 

"Just give him time Yamato. I'm sure things will turn out." 

"I hope so Ken."

----------

"Yamato," Ken called, standing outside his best friends door, "Yamato come out." He received no answer, only muffled shuffling from behind the door. "This is getting ridiculous Yama." Ken sighed and tapped his foot, "Yamato!" He yelled, as he let his foot collide with the door. "Open the door, _now_!"

"What do you want Ken?" Yamato voice sounded from inside the room. 

"It's been a month Yamato. He hasn't called, hasn't tried to make any contact. I think it's time that you-"

"No!" Yamato yelled, throwing open the door, "No! I will _not_ cheat on Taichi!" 

"I wasn't suggesting." Ken looked up at him perplexed. "All I was going to say is that you need to start going out again." Yamato was about to add a comment but Ken shushed him, "I didn't say go out there and shag a guy, all I said was that you need to get out." 

Yamato stared at him for a moment then sighed. "Yeah, you could be right. 'Haven't been out in a while."

"That's the spirit. So, tonight we'll go down-"

"Wait, tonight?" Yamato asked, cutting him off. 

"Yeah." 

"Why tonight?" 

"Because I already have everything planned?" Ken shrugged. 

"You knew I'd cave?"

"Well, not 'cave' per-say, but I knew you'd never be able to resist a drink," Ken smiled. 

"You little brat." Yamato said smirking and smacked Ken playfully. "So where are we going?" 

----------

"I dun nee' 'em an'way. I mean really, who wan's to walk 'round with a giant bush?" Yamato slurred, his drink spilling as he gestured violently.

"Yama. I think maybe it's time that we went back home," Ken told him, putting his own drink down. 

"No Ken. wanna stay here and drink!" Yamato said, raising his glass, then yelled, "Bar'ender! Give me another." 

"Sir, I think you've had enough." The barkeep told him, taking his empty glass and walked away. 

"See Yama? Even the bartender thinks you've had enough. Now let's get you up." Ken said standing, then went and lifted Yamato off of his chair. 

"Ken no. I dun wanna go home. to man' memories. hurts." 

Ken sighed, "Yamato. it's not like we have anywhere else to go. I can't take you back to my place-"

"Les do that Ken. go t-your place."

"Yamato, we can't. Do you know how much my parents would freak if-"

"Pease?" Yamato asked, cutting him off again. "Pease Ken? Jus this once?" 

Sighing once again Ken nodded, "I am so going to regret this." 

"No, y-won't. I'll pertect you." 

"I'm sure you will Yama." 

----------

Ken helped Yamato out of the car and waved the taxi off, "I'm going to get in deep shit for this." he muttered, dragging the other boy inside and over to the elevator. "You can walk Yamato. don't play feeble with me."

"M-sorry." Yamato mumbled, trying to get his footing right, "S'hard." 

"I know, but it's only a little more." Ken said as they walked into the elevator, "There we go. Now, stand up straight." 

"Can't." 

"Yes you can. Come on now, we're almost at my floor." With a final beep the elevator doors opened and the two boys stepped out, "Come on Yamato. You're not that drunk." 

"Shows wha you know." Ken laughed as he took out his keys. 

"Yama? Can you try to stay up on your own? I can't open the door and hold you at the same time." With much difficulty, the two of them walked into the apartment when Yamato started to giggle uncontrollably, "Yama! Shh!" Ken hissed, "You'll wake up my parents!" 

Closing his mouth, Yamato tried to stop his sudden fit of giggles as the two of them walked over to Ken's room. Once they were inside his room Ken closed and locked the door behind them. 

Putting Yamato down on the ground Ken looked up at their next challenge. "Crap." He said looking up at his elevated bed. "How am I going to get you up there?" He looked down at the giggling boy lying on the floor and sighed, "Alright Yama, up we go." 

With a lot of struggling and a few bruises later, Ken finally managed to get his best friend up the ladder and into his bed, where he now lied peacefully, slowly drifting off to sleep. 

Without hesitation Ken climbed up the ladder and laid down next to his sleeping counterpart, only taking a moment to sweep a few strands of blonde hair out of his eyes, "Goodnight Yama." Ken said lying back in bed, closing his own eyes.

----------

****

---BlueMoonEmpress---


	6. Bed of Lies

****

I'm not playing well with a lot of people with these chapters am I? But I swear to you all that it will all turn out okay… at least I think it will O_o 

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, it belongs to a bunch of lucky bastards that I also do not own, or know for that matter. 

Warning: Yaoi. 

Subconscious Urges 

BlueMoonEmpress

Chapter 6

__

Bed of Lies 

"Oh god… someone make the elephants stop tap dancing…" Yamato groaned as he stirred from his sleep. 

"Morning sunshine." 

"Huh?" Turning his head Yamato saw Ken smiling below him. "Ken? What're you… shit!" He yelled, scampering back towards the wall, away from the six-foot plummet.

"Calm down Yama. You're at my place. Here," Ken told him handing him a glass of water and two tablets. 

Yamato took them readily, "Thanks." He said after swallowing, "But why are we at your place?" 

"You didn't want to go home. Said that there were too many memories there." 

"Oh…" He sighed and laid back down on the bed. "Why does it hurt so much?" 

"You drank too much."

"Shut up, you know what I meant." 

"Because you love him." 

"And why do I have to love him so much?" 

"Now that I don't have an answer for. You just do."

"I wish I didn't…" 

"No you don't. He's your one true love Yama, you don't just wish away love like that."

"I know."

"Well, come on and get up. Mom and dad have left for a bit so it's easier for you to scurry away." 

"But I don't wanna leave yet Ken… I'm comfy…" Yamato decided, pulling the covers up over his face. 

Ken sighed, "Fine. You don't have to leave yet. Just get out of my bed so that I can make it at least." 

"No." 

"Yamato… stop being a stubborn child!" 

Yamato grinned, "But it's fun." 

"And you do it so well, but right now your maturity isn't the question. Now get out of my bed!" 

----------

"Phone him." 

"No." 

"Phone him." 

"Dun wanna." 

"Yes you do. Now phone him." 

"No." 

"Yamato…" 

"Ken…"

"Just phone him already. Maybe he's changed his mind." Ken told him, once again shoving the phone across the table. 

Yamato shoved it right back, "If he changed his mind he would have phoned me already to tell me that's he's stopped being an asshole!" 

"Maybe he's scared you won't take him back." 

"Well he should be." 

"All the more reason for _you_ to phone _him_." 

"But Ken-"

"No, no buts. I'll dial. All you have to do is talk to him." He got up to get Yamato's phone book, "I'm sure he misses you." 

"So much that he's forgotten to phone me for three months?" Yamato asked skeptically, "It's almost winter break Ken. He's over me." His head hit the table forcefully. 

"Yama!" Ken yelled, running back over to him. "Are you okay?" He asked as Yamato lifted his head.

"I'm fine…" He grumbled rubbing his forehead. 

"Good, now phone him." Ken pressed the dialing phone against the others ear. 

Beginning to panic, Yamato tried to push the offending machine away from his ear, but Ken just pressed harder. 

The phone rang and rang and rang, then finally… 

_"Hello?"_

Yamato sat frozen as the voice on the other end repeated _'hello'_ over and over again. 

_"Whatever."_ The voice growled and hung up. 

"Taichi…" Yamato spoke softly, his eyes slowly brimming with tears. 

In seeing this Ken took the phone away from his friend's ear and sat in the seat beside him. "Yama? What's wrong? Did no one answer? What happened? Yama? Yama?"

----------

"Hello? Hello? Hello~? Whatever." Taichi growled and hung up the phone. 

"Who was that?" A figure in his bed asked.

"Heck if I know. Probably some punk." Taichi walked back to the bed and climbed in. 

"Hmm, okay." The other curled up closer to him, draping his arms over Taichi's chest. Taichi sighed and stared up at the ceiling.

"What's the matter babe? You seem disconcerted."

"What?" Taichi asked confused. He shook his head; "It's nothing. Don't worry about it."

"You sure?"

"Hmm, yeah, I'm sure." Taichi smiled weakly down at the blonde and ran his fingers through his hair, "But you should probably get going. Koushiro'll be back soon." 

Wallace smiled and nodded, sitting up in the bed. "Alright. I'll go. But only because you asked me to," he leaned down and kissed Taichi on the lips. "Call me later."

"Of course." 

The blonde got dressed and hurried out of the room, leaving Taichi behind to think when the door was suddenly flung open. 

"Taichi you egocentric simpleton!" 

Taichi blinked up at him, "Huh?"

"How could you _do_ something like that?"

"Kou… what're you talking about?"

Koushiro slammed the door behind him, closed his eyes and bit his lip; "You're a real bastard Taichi."

Said bastard scrunched his forehead, "What… why?" he squeaked. 

"You _cheated_ on Yamato!" 

Taichi gapped for a moment then sighed, "We're on a break… it doesn't count." 

Koushiro started laughing, his right hand rubbing his forehead, "You actually think… oh please." 

"What? 'Oh please' what Koushiro?"

"You actually think that you can do that and it won't effect the other person? I never knew you were so stupid Tai."

"It won't effect Yamato because he won't find out about it!" 

"Don't be so sure Taichi. These things tend to get around." Koushiro glared at him, "Half of the school already knows about it."

Taichi stared at him wide-eyed; "You're joking right…?"

"No. How do you think I found out?"

"Kou… please. You wouldn't, please you can't tell him!" 

"He deserves to know, don't you think?"

"Not if it would hurt him like it will." 

"Then you should have thought about that _before_ you decided to shack up with another blonde." Koushiro glared at him; "I can't even look at you right now." He turned and walked back out the door. 

"Wait! Kou! Come back!" 

----------

"Hello? Is Yamato there?"

_"Speaking"_

"Hi… it's um… Izumi Koushiro."

_"Koushiro?"_

"Yeah, ah… I have something to tell you…"

----------

Yamato stood silently, the phone that had been clutched in his hand now lay on the ground, the voice that'd been yelling out to him having stopped long ago. 

He couldn't move, couldn't think. 

_Didn't want to think._

"H-how…?" He whispered his eyes closing tightly. 

His knees began to wobble and he fell to the ground, curling up into a large heap on the floor. 

"Why? Why?" He asked himself over and over again. "Taichi… oh god why?"

----------

"Yamato, I've been trying to phone you for ages but your phone is always busy, is something the ma—Yama! Are you all right? Yamato? Yamato answer me now!" Ken cried as he dropped his bags and ran over to his friend, who still lied curled in a ball on the ground. 

"Yamato… please, talk to me. Talk to me!" Ken yelled franticly. 

"Why? Why?" Ken blinked when he heard the barely audible word being repeated over and over. 

"Why what Yama? What happened?" Ken asked gently as he spotted the phone. Picking it up he placed it to his ear and sighed in frustration when all he heard was the dial tone. "Yama?" He asked once again, leaning in closer so that he was lying opposite his friend. "What happened?"

"How could he do it?"

"What?"

"How could he do that to me?" the voice was soft and harsh. 

"Who-" Ken stopped himself, "What did Taichi do?"

"Not what, who." The voice was still soft, but the bitter harshness of the words rung through. 

Ken stared at him, mouth agape, "He… he didn't… oh Yama, how could he do that to you?" Slowly he took Yamato into his arms and hugged him tightly, letting the blonde cry on his shoulder. 

"H-he's over me K-Ken… he's over me!" Yamato cried, clutching onto Ken's shoulders.

"Y-you don't know that Yamato. Maybe this was just him trying to fill the void of you not being there." 

"You don't know that." 

"And you don't know that he's over you." Ken pulled him away and looked him in the eyes, "Yama, I'm not going to say that what he did was okay, even if you two are on a break, but he's probably hurting just like you are." 

Yamato closed his eyes firmly and shook his head. "No… no… no he's over me! He's left me and now I have no one!" 

"Yama don't say that. You'll always have me." Ken smiled gently at him. "I'll always be here for you." 

"Ken…" Yamato sighed, shook his head and leant towards him. Ken stared at him wide-eyed as he pressed his lips gently to his own. "Was that okay?" Yamato asked him quietly. 

Not willing to trust his mouth, but knowing this was a bad idea, Ken closed his eyes and pressed his lips back onto those of his best friends. 

----------

Yamato lay in bed thinking, while Ken slept soundlessly on his chest. His fingers unconsciously ran through Ken's long hair and the younger boy sighed happily, a smile gracing his face. 

A frown found its place upon Yamato's face as he thought of the night's events. 

He'd done the same thing Taichi had. He was worse then Taichi. He'd done it out of revenge. His emotions were running wild the night before with the news of Taichi's infidelity and he hadn't been thinking straight, because if he had been this certainly would never have happened. 

_'I'm so stupid!'_ He thought. _'How could I play with Ken's feelings like that? He's been nothing but good to me!'_

Yamato would have slapped himself if it wouldn't have woken the sleeping boy lying in his arms. 

"Hmm… Yama, why'd you let me sleep so long?" Ken's lazy voice asked as he looked up at him with half-lidded eyes and a radiant smile. 

All Yamato had to do was look at him and that smile washed itself from Ken's face; he frowned and looked down, slowly untangling himself from his friend's arms. 

"I'll go." Ken said getting dressed. 

"Wait, Ken! Don't go."

Buttoning up his shirt Ken turned and looked down at the blonde lying in the bed that now had so much meaning to him. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it and walked out the door.

----------

Yamato spent the rest of the day busying himself, trying unsuccessfully to get the violet haired boy out of his head. 

"You're an idiot Ishida." He cursed, tossing some dishes into the sink. 

"Why are you an idiot?" 

Jumping in surprise, Yamato turned, sighing, "Because of what I let happen." 

Ken shook his head and walked over to him, "If you remember, I didn't exactly protest much." 

"That may be true but I shouldn't ha-"

"Shh," Ken shushed him, pressing one finger against Yamato's lips, "It's over now and it was a mistake. You were emotionally unstable and I… I didn't exactly stop you, which I probably should have." 

"Ken, don't go and put all the blame on yourself."

"I wasn't planning on doing that." 

"Huh?" 

Ken laughed lightly, "It was as much my fault as it was yours." He dipped his head, his face shielded by a curtain of violet hair, "No matter how much I enjoyed it," he whispered, then looked up, "I'm glad we both agree that it shouldn't have happened." 

"I'm sorry." 

He nodded, "Yeah, me too." 

Silence fell on the two of them as they looked around nervously, "Did you clean the whole apartment?" 

Yamato blushed, nodding his head, "Yeah. I… needed something to take my mind off of what happened." 

Ken laughed again and propped himself up onto the counter next to where Yamato stood. Looking over at his friend Ken smiled and leaned his head on Yamato's shoulder. 

"I'm glad we fixed this." 

"Yeah, me too Ken." 

"I love you." 

Yamato paused, then smiled, "I love you too." 

Ken's smile brightened as he let himself down from the self, "I should get going. I'm supposed to meet Daisuke at the park." He told him, "Did you want to come?"

Yamato shook his head, "Nah, I think I'll just finish cleaning what I haven't already." 

The two of them laughed, "Alright. I'll talk with you later Yamato." Leaning forward Ken placed a gentle kiss on his friend's lips before he smiled again and turned away, leaving Yamato to stare after him, awe struck.

----------

I have a feeling that this chapter isn't going to go over well with some people as well… 

****

---BlueMoonEmpress---


	7. Forgive and Forget?

Subconscious Urges

BlueMoonEmpress

Chapter 7

__

Forgive and Forget?

Hovering over the phone Yamato's brow creased as he contemplated what he was about to do. His hands rubbed together nervously in between reaching to pick up said machine. Closing his eyes he turned and walked away, moving towards the living room. 

"Yamato?" His father asked as he noticed his son's distress. "Anything the matter?"

"Huh?" He hadn't noticed his father sitting there, "Ah… no. Nothing." 

"Are you sure?" Matsuhara asked worriedly, putting down his paper, "You know you can tell me anything Yamato."

Yamato nodded, although he wasn't really paying attention, "Uh-huh."

"Yamato?"

"I know Dad."

"Are you sure nothing's wrong?"

"I'm fine, really." 

Looking at his son oddly he frowned, "If you say so."

Walking back to the phone Yamato picked it up and ran to his room, his father staring worriedly after him.

His fingers itched over the numbers as he pushed himself to dial, _"Do it." _His mind tempted, _"What harm can it bring?"_

Taking a big breath he punched in the first digits hurriedly, not caring if they were right. Taking another breath he closed his eyes and pressed in the rest. 

Shakily, he held the phone to his ear as he listened to the steady ringing. Holding the phone with two hands he waited until…

__

"Hello?"

Eyes wide Yamato's voice caught in his throat. 

_"Hello?"_ The voice asked again. _"Anybody there?"_

"Ah…"

__

"Can I help you?"

"T-Tai…?" 

_"Oh, did you want to speak with him? Here, hold on a sec…"_ There was ruffling as a hand was placed over the mouth piece, _"Tai! Someone on the phone for you!… here he is."_

"Thanks babe, hello?"

Breathing heavily he clutched at the phone, "T-Tai…?" His voice whispered. 

Having recognized the voice right away, Taichi didn't say anything at first, _"Yama…?" _

"H-hey."

__

"How… how are you?"

"How am I? How am I…? Do I really need to answer that?" 

Taichi winced on his side of the line, _"Koushiro told you." _It wasn't a question.

"Yeah. And I see that that hasn't stopped you." Yamato guessed, his voice breaking frequently. 

__

"Yamato… listen, I can explain-"

"Explain what Tai? That you thought," He paused, "because you – _you_ – called a break, it was okay to go around and sleep with other guys?"

__

"Well… we are on a break… I wouldn't except you to hold yourself for me just be-"

"You were the one that wanted this Tai! I never wanted this… This is all because of your insecurities! Not mine!" 

__

"Yamato, it was for the best! It really was!"

"The best for who Tai? For me? Or you?"

__

"For the both of us."

"On what grounds? I thought we were good Tai… We were good." 

__

"Things happened Yama." 

"What things?"

__

"Things I wished never had…" 

Yamato paused, "We both regret it." 

__

"W-what…?"

"It should never have happened… I was upset and he was just trying to comfort me… it wasn't supposed to happen." 

__

"Y-you and Ken…?"

"…Yes." 

__

"When?" It was said in a harsh whisper. 

"Two nights ago."

__

"T-that's all…?"

"I was so upset when… when Koushiro told me… I—I wasn't thinking straight." Yamato sucked in a ragged breath; "I'm so sorry Taichi… I'm willing to forgive you if you forgive me."

__

"Yamato…"

"Please Taichi… I can't stand us being like this!"

__

"I'll have to think about it."

"T-think about it? Think about what Tai? Tai!" Yamato yelled, but in return he only heard a dial tone. 

----------

__

"Please Taichi… I can't stand us being like this!"

"I'll have to think about it." Tai said as he hung up the phone. 

"Who was that?" Wallace asked as he wrapped his arms around Taichi's waist. 

"No one."

"Didn't sound like no one."

"Well it was, so just drop it and get out." Taichi snapped. 

"W-what?" Wallace stuttered, taken aback. 

"You heard me. I'm done with you. Get out of my room." 

Having regained some of his composer Wallace blew air out of his nose, "You weren't that good anyway," he whispered as he passed him by. 

Taichi sighed as he heard his door slam, "Fuck Yama…"

----------

"Taichi! Oh, it's so good to have you home again!" His mother cried as she hugged her only son. 

"It's good to see you too Mom." He said, hugging her back. 

"We missed you son." His father greeted affectionately. 

"Well, you should have stuck around during the summer. I was here for almost two weeks." Taichi replied grinning. 

"Well then perhaps you should have told us you were coming home! Then we might have stayed." Hikari added in smugly, but smiling all the same as she walked up to her big brother and hugged him, "I'm glad you're home."

"Yeah… me too." 

Hikari sighed, "Things haven't changed?"

He shook his head, "No."

"Well maybe-"

"You must be starving honey, there's still some lunch here in the kitchen if you'd like, I could heat it up for you." Their mother cut in. 

"That'd be great Mom, thanks," Taichi smiled. She smiled back and walked into the kitchen, her husband following behind her. 

"As I was saying," Hikari continued annoyed, "Maybe you should go and talk to him. He's been miserable without you, you know. At least he was after the summer." She added, "And from what you told me he has all the right to be."

"He cheated on me too 'Kari," Taichi replied stubbornly. 

"Yeah, after he found out about you and what's his name." She scrunched her nose disgustedly. 

"I still don't know that he didn't do anything with Ken before that!"

"He told you that he didn't! And he did tell you when he did! Don't you think he would have told you if anything like that had happened earlier then that?" 

"Lunch is ready Taichi!"

"Coming Mom," he said, ignoring Hikari and walked into the kitchen. 

----------

"You can't avoid him for the whole break." 

"Watch me." 

"You should talk to him." 

"If he wants to talk, then he can come to me."

"Does he even know you're here?" Taichi didn't answer. Hikari sighed, "How can he come to you when he doesn't even know that you're here?"

"Shut up Hikari." 

"Don't try to shut me up just because you know I'm right." She replied heatedly. "Look, you've been here for three days and you've hardly left the apartment, why don't we go for a walk?"

"This isn't some sort of set up is it?"

"No. Why would I do that?" She sounded thoroughly confused. 

He stared at his sister for a little while, "Fine." He said after much debate in his mind, "We'll go for a walk." 

"Excellent. I've been dying for an ice-cream cone." 

"Ice-cream? In this weather?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"Just…" Taichi shook his head, "Nothing. Let's go get your ice-cream." 

Taichi followed behind his sister as they walked to a local ice-cream parlor, that for one reason or another was open all year round. 

Hikari chatted on about her new boyfriend and how Taichi would have to meet him soon before he leaves to go back to school. 

"He's really nice Tai, I think you'll like him." 

"Like who?" Taichi asked, snapping back to attention. 

"My boyfriend? Jeez, have you been listening to me at all?"

"No, sorry sis. My minds kinda off on another planet." He said grinning foolishly. 

"You need to talk to him." 

Taichi sighed, "How did we get on this topic again?"

"Because you can't stop thinking about him. And you're ignoring me because of it." She stuck her tongue out at him. 

He replied with the same amount of maturity, "I'm fine and I'm listening. What's his name?"

"Ryou." 

"How old is he?"

"Same age as you." 

"W-what?" Taichi sputtered. 

"Calm down Tai. That's not that much older then me." 

"Three years isn't a lot?" He cried, "Christ 'Kari! This guy is a fucking senior! You do know what guys at that age think about all the time don't you?" 

"The same as what guys my age think about all the time," Hikari answered smartly. "He's a good guy Taichi. Just give him a chance." 

"Give him a chance… right, I'll give him a chance to meet my fist…" Taichi muttered. 

"Taichi…" Hikari growled.

"What? I didn't say anything! I swear!" The two of them laughed as they neared the ice-cream parlor. "This place is still open?"

"Of course it is, why would they close it down? Everyone goes here." 

"Apparently even when it's ten below," Taichi complained as he rubbed his arms roughly when they walked in. 

"Oh quiet. It's not that bad. You find us a table and I'll order."

"Alright." Shrugging Taichi started walking over to an empty booth when he froze at the sound of a familiar voice. 

"Shut up Ken. I thought we were going to drop this conversation?" The tone wasn't harsh, nor was it very playful, it was just delightfully…

"Yamato?" Taichi asked no one in particular as he turned. 

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself."

Taichi winced when he saw the look in Ken's eyes; there really was something there…

"Tai? Aren't you getting a table?" Hikari asked, coming up behind him. "What's the matter?" She stopped when she saw whom he had been staring at. "I-I swear I didn't plan this! It was a spur of the moment craving! I swear Tai!"

"It's okay. I believe you."

"Well… maybe this is a good thing. Maybe now you can go over there and talk to him." 

"No… I don't think that's a very good idea." 

"Well I do. Come on!" Stubbornly she took his arm and dragged him over to where the two boys where sitting. "Hey guys." Hikari called cheerfully. 

"Hi 'Kari, what're you doing here?" Yamato asked, looking surprised. 

"Getting ice-cream," She said, holding up her cone, "what else would I be doing here?"

"Planning my doom…" a voice whispered a ways away. 

"Guess who came home for the holidays!" She called excitedly, ignoring her brother's weak protests. 

"Who?" Yamato asked, already knowing the answer. 

"Taichi!" She cried, dragging him over from the display he'd been hiding behind. "Now, I know the two of you have much to talk about, so Ken and I are going to take off for a while. See you!" Grabbing a flustered Ken by the arm she dragged him out of the booth and out of the parlor.

"Ah… bye!" He cried feebly. 

Nervously Taichi sat in the booth across from Yamato. "Hey… Did you… maybe want to take a walk?"

"Sure." Yamato answered getting up from the booth. The two of them walked outside, standing arms length from each other. 

"How are you?" Taichi asked, at a loss for words. 

"Pretty shitty. Thanks for asking." 

"Ah… Yamato-"

"Are you done thinking about it?"

"What?"

"You said on the phone that you'd have to 'think about it', whatever that means. I was just wondering if maybe you were done."

"I don't know anymore Yama…" 

"You don't know? You don't know if you love me anymore? Or you don't know if you can handle being with someone that might potentially cheat on you?" He asked sharply. 

"I was hurt Yamato." 

"Hurt? Hurt! You don't even understands what it means to be hurt like that Taichi!" 

"I don't? What about that little episode with Ken?"

"That was a mistake. I told you that. We both regret doing it. And I only did it because of you!"

"Sure, blame it on me." 

"I will and I am."

"It's not all my fault."

"No, but you sure do hold a big chunk." 

"Yamato we went over this!"

"We might have but we sure as hell didn't get to the point of it! I thought everything was going fine Tai. We were happy, at least I thought we were… we were far away from each other and yet we still give it all we could to get beyond that. We were doing so well…"

"So well that it made me call a break?"

"Made you? Who made you?"

"You did. You and your sudden bond with Ken. How could you think that I wouldn't assume things?"

"Maybe I thought that we were beyond thing like that, like petty jealousy. Jealousy that wasn't even needed! There's nothing between Ken and I!" Taichi raised an eyebrow; "I told you that that was a mistake! And if you need me to sign my name in blood to let you know that I swear never to do it again then I will." Yamato told him forcefully. 

Taichi stared at him with wide eyes. 

"Can I say the same about you Tai? I might have done what you had been suspecting but…" he laughed bitterly, "…it was only after I found out that you'd done to me what you thought I had been doing to you all along. And that really hurts Tai."

"Yama…" Taichi sighed and reached across to take his hand. 

Yamato flinched back, "No. Not now Tai. Not until I have your answer." 

"M-my answer?"

"To my question."

Closing his eyes Taichi dropped his head; "I don't want to have to always worry Yama."

"Then don't."

"But how do I know… how do I know that I won't have those suspicions again?"

"You don't. The only condolence you have is my word Tai and if that isn't good enough…" Yamato shrugged, unable to think of anything else to say. 

"God Yama… I don't want it to be like this!"

Breathing deeply Yamato reached out and took his hand this time; "We can take it one step at a time Tai." He smiled softly, "You need to learn to trust me."

"I know I do."

"You need to know that I don't want to hurt you, and I'd never do… that again." His voice cracked as a single tear dripped down his face. 

"Yama…" Taichi said quietly, wiping the tear track away, "Okay." 

"Okay?" Yamato asked, his eyes hopeful.

He nodded, "Yeah. I'm so sorry Yama… I never wanted to hurt you," he moved closer to Yamato, "I was an idiot. I'm so, so sorry…" he leant his forehead against the blondes.

Laughing brokenly, Yamato smiled, "I missed you so much."

Taichi touched his cheek softly, "Me too." He kissed him gently, "Let's never do this again, okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

----------

I hope everyone liked this chapter a little more… but are things finally in the clear?

---BlueMoonEmpress---


	8. Don't Call Me

Subconscious Urges

BlueMoonEmpress

Chapter 8

__

Don't Call Me

"You seem happier." 

Taichi grinned as he fell back onto his bed, "Well, I think I should be 'Shiro."

"And why is this?"

"Yamato and I…" He let it trail.

"Are you serious? He actually took you back?" Koushiro raised an eyebrow skeptically. 

"Hey, it was a mutual decision! We're going to take it slow… but we both want to give it another chance." 

"I can't believe it." He sat down on his bed. 

"I know, isn't it great?"

"That could be one way of phrasing it." 

"Are you still soar about that?" Taichi asked astonished, "Jeez 'Shiro! Give a guy a break! I made a mistake, we both did. We're willing to get over it, why can't you?"

"Because I have more sense then he does apparently." 

"Kou…" Taichi pouted, "You can't seriously still be mad at me." 

"I can and I am." He folded his arms across his chest. 

"You're being a stubborn child."

"I'm being sensible." 

"You call that sensible?" Taichi laughed, "Maybe you aren't as smart as I thought you were." 

Glaring at him Koushiro growled, "You are such an ass Taichi." 

Grinning, Taichi slapped his, "I know, and it's a great one too."

"Fuck you!" Koushiro yelled as he through a pillow at his roommate. 

"Oh, so that's how it's going to be huh? You should be pre-warned that I am the master at pillow fights…" Choosing his weapon Taichi grinned evilly as he pounced his roommate. "You will regret the day you decided to war against the great Taichi!"

Unable to stop himself Koushiro started laughing, "T-Taichi! Stop it!"

"What do you say Kou? What _do_ you say?"

"Alright! Alright! You do have a great ass!"

Smiling proudly Taichi back away from his prey, "I'm glad you could see it my way Koushiro."

----------

_"Hello?"_

"Yama!" 

_"Tai!"_

"How are you?"

_"I'm doing all right Tai, working hard." _

"Me too. Exams are a bitch." 

_"Yeah, they are."_ Yamato laughed, _"But you know, they'd be a little easier if you studied ahead of time." _

"But that wouldn't be me Yama. That's just not how I work." 

_"Yeah, I know."_ Neither spoke for a moment. 

"Yama?"

__

"Hmm?"

"You okay?"

_"Un, yeah. Just thinking is all." _

"About what?"

_"Us?"_

"Us?" Taichi asked worriedly. "Yama…"

__

"I miss you Tai."

"I miss you too Yamato." 

__

"I love you." 

"I love you too."

__

"Really?"

"Of course. I-" He paused, "-I never stopped."

Hitched breathing could be heard from the other end, _"You coming home in a few weeks?"_

Taichi smiled, "Yeah."

_"Good."_ He took a deep breath, _"I'll talk to you soon Tai." _

"Alright. Bye Yama."

----------

__

"Alright. Bye Yama."

Taking another deep breath Yamato sighed and fell onto his bed, ending the conversation. 

"Yamato?"

"Yeah dad?" He covered his eyes with one arm to block out some of the hall light. 

"Who were you talking to?"

"Tai." 

"Tai? As in your best friend Tai?"

"Yeah…" Yamato looked at his father nervously, "why?"

"Do… do you tell all your friends… all your _male_ friends that you," he paused, "you love them?"

His arm having fallen off his eyes Yamato stared at his father, wide-eyed from his bed, "D-dad… I—I can explain!"

"There isn't a need to explain. Just answer the questions I asked." 

He nodded, then whispered, "Not all of them, no."

"Just Taichi then?" Yamato nodded again, "You're a fag?" Closing his eyes Yamato gave another quick nod. "And I thought I could stop this by taking you to live with me and not your mother." 

Snapping his head up he stared at his father in disbelief. 

"So, is your brother one too? Will I ever have grandchildren?" His eyes were slanted and his voice was cold.

"I—I don't know Da-"

"Don't." Matsuhara glared at his eldest son, "Don't call me that."

"W-what…?"

He looked away, "I don't want you to call me that anymore."

"O-okay."

"And don't bother trying to talk to me either." 

"But Da-!"

Turning back around he fixed his eyes on his son and growled, "I told you not to call me that."

"I-I'm sorry s-sir." He left without another word. 

Staring at his closed door in disbelief a stray tear made its way down his cheek before he rubbed it away forcefully. 

Rubbing at his forehead Yamato stood up and walked out of his room. Not seeing any sign of his father he walked to the front door and pulled on his shoes and jacket before he walked out. 

----------

Ken sighed as he heard the doorbell ring. He knew no one else would get it seeing as he was the only one home at the time. Closing his textbook he got up and walked grudgingly to the door. 

"Yes?" He asked not looking to see whom it was. 

"Hey Ken." 

Eye brightening Ken smiled as he heard his best friend's voice, "Yama!" Pulling his friend inside he closed the door behind him. "Not that I'm not thrilled that you're here but why are you here? It's getting pretty late." 

Yamato forced a smile, "Yeah well, I thought I'd come by and see how you were doing. Haven't seen you in a little while."

"Yamato?" Ken looked at him worriedly, "Are you all right?"

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" He brushed off the comment and walked into the living area, taking a seat on the nearest sofa. 

"You look like you're about to cry." Ken sat down beside him, brushing a hand over the others cheek, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I-I'm not sure really." 

"How come?"

"Dad just found out that I'm a Queer." 

"He… didn't know before?"

"Hell no. Never had the guts to tell him. For good reason too I guess…"

"Oh." Ken looked at him confused, "I always thought…" 

"No. I had never planned on telling my father." 

"But now he knows…" 

"Yeah."

"How'd he find out?"

"He listened in to mine and Taichi's phone call. Can you believe that? That's so childish." Ken nodded. "He asked me if I told all my male friends that I loved them. Then he asked if I was a fag and when I said yes, he told me not to talk to him again."

"Yama…"

He shook his head, "No, I'm fine."

Looking to the ground Ken paused, "Would… would you like to stay here for a little while?"

"What?"

Ken shrugged, "I doubt my parents would notice. Or really care for that matter." he looked at him through his hair, "It's up to you."

Smiling gently Yamato nodded, "Thanks Ken."

Lifting his head Ken smiled brightly as Yamato looked at him, "It's the least I could do. You did the same for me."

"And I'd do it again."

Bowing his head once more Ken nodded, "Thank you."

----------

"Taichi!" Yamato cried as he ran across the station. 

"Yama!" Was the reply he got as the blonde bounded into his arms. "I've missed you."

"God… you don't know how much I've missed you…" Yamato told him, nuzzling his neck. "Don't leave me again."

"I wish I didn't have to. But it won't be much longer until this year is over Yama. Then I can come back home for good." 

"You promise?" 

"Of course." Taichi smiled. 

Tears brimming in his eyes Yamato hugged him tightly, "Are we good now?"

"This seems pretty good to me Yama."

"But… you won't get all suspicious of me when you go back will you?" 

Taichi shook his head, "No. I'm over that Yama. I know better then that now."

Smiling brightly Yamato placed his lips gingerly on the brunettes. "Thank you."

"What's there to thank?" Taichi asked confused. 

"For believing in me. In us." 

"I'll never doubt that again Yama. Never." 

----------

---BlueMoonEmpress--- 


	9. Ready As I'll Ever Be

****

Well, this is the last chapter. And then it's over. For good. This is the end. Over and done with. 

I think it's been a fun ride ne? ^^

Subconscious Urges

BlueMoonEmpress

Chapter 9

Ready As I'll Ever Be

Taking a deep breath Yamato's fingers danced over the phones digits, dialing a familiar number. 

__

"Hello?"

"Hey Koushiro, is Taichi there?"

__

"Yeah, hold on. He's just on the washroom. Taichi! Yamato's on the phone!" On the other end Yamato heard a loud bang before Koushiro yelled, _"Tai! You idiot, are you all right? Why'd you go and run into the door, he's not going anywhere."_ Yamato laughed and shook his head. _"Here he is."_

"Thanks." 

__

"Yama?"

"You ran into a door?"

There was a pause; _"I wanted to talk to you."_

"Well, that's always nice to hear." Yamato laughed. "But you don't have to run through walls Tai. I'll wait as long as I have to."

__

"Aw, you're so sweet Yama."

"I know. So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

__

"Well, you know what's coming up right?"

"School ends?"

__

"Forever Yama. School ends forever."

"Not exactly. High School ends forever."

__

"Close enough."

"Get on with it!" 

__

"Well, Grad is coming."

"Yeah."

__

"I want you to go with me."

"Tai…"

__

"They can't do anything to us Yama. We'll already have our diplomas. They can't throw us out…"

"I know…"

__

"Then what?"

Yamato sighed, "Nothing. Nothing at all. Of course I'll go with you Taichi."

__

"Great. I'm coming home in three weeks."

"Three weeks?" Yamato asked. 

__

"Yup. Exams are almost over. Congregation is two weeks away… so yeah, three weeks or less."

"I can't wait."

__

"Neither can I Yama. Neither can I." 

----------

Taichi stood in the doorway of the Ichijouji household in complete awe. 

Ken, who was standing beside him, smiled and nudged him in the side, "Tell him how great he looks."

"I—I'm trying…" Taichi stuttered as Yamato stood before the two of them, his cheeks red from embarrassment. "Yama…" Taichi started, "You look…" he paused. "too good for words."

Blushing even more then he was, Yamato smiled shyly, "So do you Tai."

Regaining some of his composure, Taichi shook his head and offered his elbow, "Shall we go?"

Yamato nodded, "Lets." As he walked past Ken, he gave him a quick kiss and a hug goodbye, "Don't wait up for me," He said winking.

Ken laughed; "Have fun you two!" 

----------

"You ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." Yamato sighed, "He's going to be furious with us." 

"Yeah, he will be." Taichi laughed, "But he can't do anything about it! This is our Grad. We're not in this school anymore. He can't do shit all." Taichi told him, smiling brightly. "You look great. Have I told you that yet?"

"Only about a thousand times. But I can stand to hear it once more," Yamato replied blushing. 

"Good. Because you do," Taichi said as he kissed his cheek. "Let's go!"

Hand in hand the two of them walked into the dimly lit hall and walked over to some people they recognized from school. 

"You guys really did it." Sora commented, indicating to their linked fingers. "Although I'm not all that surprised."

"I'm glad you guys decided to come together. That'll show Mr. Taylor that he can't keep love birds like you apart!" Mimi said, nodding her head. 

"Ah… thanks Mimi," Taichi said, scratching his head. "So, how are you guys? I haven't seen you all in so long!" He walked over to Sora and Mimi and gave them both hugs. 

"We're doing all right Tai. Not much has changed since you left," Sora smiled. "But I hear you two had a bit of trouble." 

"Ah… yeah," Taichi rubbed the back of his neck, "But that's over with. No need to fret." He grinned. 

"We never doubted the two of you. Your bond is just too strong to be broken by such a trivial thing like jealousy." Mimi added. 

"Wait… how did you guys find out about all that?" Yamato asked, looking at them confused. 

"A little birdie told them." A voice added behind them. 

"'K-Kari!" Taichi stammered, turning around quickly. "What are you doing here?"

"I was invited silly." She told him smiling. 

"By who?"

"Ryou." Her smile widened. 

"Was I called?" A boy with brown hair and a tux asked as he slipped a hand around Hikari's waist.

"Not exactly, but I'm glad you came over anyway." Hikari smiled, "Ryou, this is my brother Taichi."

Ryou smiled and reached out a hand, "Nice to finally meet you Taichi. 'Kar-Kar has told me a lot about you."

Eye twitching Taichi shook his head, "H-has she?" Releasing his hand he said, "All good things I hope." 

"Oh, of course." 

Yamato was looking at Ryou curiously, "Aren't you in the school Jazz band?"

"I was yes." 

Yamato nodded, "I thought you looked familiar." 

"Were you in it?" He raised an eyebrow. 

"No. I was in the band. I played bass." 

"That's it! I knew you looked familiar as well. We've passed each other many times at school concerts." 

"We have." Yamato laughed. Taichi glared at him. 

"You look familiar too Taichi. Do you go to this school?"

"I did." Taichi replied stiffly. 

Ryou thought for a moment, then snapped his fingers, "You're the guys that kissed at the dance a few years ago!" 

"Last year actually." 

"Right! That sure was brave of you guys. I sure never would have had the guts to do that in front of Taylor." 

"We didn't exactly know he would react that way…" Taichi mumbled. 

"So, are you guys actually a couple? Or was that just something you did to piss of Taylor?"

"Well-" Yamato started.

"We are." Taichi cut in, grabbed Yamato's hand and kissed it. 

Smiling, Yamato nodded, "We are."

"That's awesome. Well, we're going to go and dance for a little while, but it was nice meeting you both." 

"See you Taichi." Hikari called as they ran off.

Grumbling Taichi walked back to where Mimi and Sora had been standing previously. "What right does he have to call her ''Kar-Kar'? And who calls someone that?"

"I think it's sweet." Yamato told him. 

"Just wait until your brother gets a girlfriend." 

"If he gets one."

"Huh?"

"What if he turns out like his older brother?"

"He should be so lucky." 

Blushing, Yamato dipped his head, "He wouldn't have a father."

"You're doing fine without one."

"It'd be nice to have though." 

"I know Yama, I know."

"Ishida!" 

Stiffening, Yamato turned around slowly, "Y-yes sir?"

"Who's your friend?" Mr. Taylor asked, glaring at the others back. 

Taichi turned around grinning wildly, "Well hello there Mr. Taylor! Long time no see!"

"You… what are you doing here?" 

"I was invited," His grin grew as he grabbed Yamato's hand. 

Mr. Taylor's eyes went wide with shock, "You—you have no right to be here!"

"I have as much right as you do."

Stuttering Mr. Taylor backed away slowly from the two of them, "If I see any improper show of affection I'll throw the both of you out!"

"You've done that before sir. It hasn't stopped us yet."

Unable to think of anything more to say, Mr. Taylor turned and walked off in a huff. 

Wrapping both arms around Yamato's waist Taichi grinned again, "See Yama? I told you everything would be okay." 

"You did."

"But you didn't believe me." 

"No, I didn't." 

"You need to learn to trust me more, love."

Yamato raised an eyebrow, "Do I now?"

"I believe you do. Trust is what all relationships are based on you know." 

"I think I know that."

"Alright. As long as you know," Smiling he leaned down and placed a small kiss on Yamato's lips. "I love you." 

Yamato smiled, "With all my heart I love you."

"Together forever?"

"And ever and ever."

"Hmm… good." Leaning down once again the two of them shared another kiss. 

Fin. 

And that's the end. I hoped you enjoyed it ^^ I sure had fun writing it. 

Until next time!

Before I go I would just like to thank all that reviewed~ You were my shining stars as I wrote this ^^ So thank you all! 

I love you and good night~ 

Haha

---BlueMoonEmpress---


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